O RLY? Sex and Lies Among the Lowly

by: fogiv

Thu Nov 12, 2009 at 16:31:19 PM EST



Fresh scat from the Birfer loons, via HuffPo:

In his decision dismissing a lawsuit filed by Orly Taitz late last month, U.S. District Court Judge David O. Carterr mentioned that some witnesses complained that the birther chief urged them to lie on the stand. Now, more details are out, as one of the witnesses has made his affidavit public.

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Come on, is there anything more entertaining than soap opera drama, infighting, and adulterous sex among the architects of the Barry Hussien O'bama ain't a REALZ 'Murican sub-species?  No, there isn't.

fogiv :: O RLY? Sex and Lies Among the Lowly
Lying about lies, the Taitz Doctrine:

Lucas Smith, a fellow conspiracy theorist who Taitz identified in her lawsuit as the discoverer of Obama's Kenyan birth certificate, gave his statement to the Orange County Register.

Among the allegations Smith makes is that Taitz asked him to say that he was the one who obtained a document that was alleged to be a 1964 Kenyan birth certificate for Barack Hussein Obama II. He says he didn't. That document had been called a forgery by experts, and Smith said his own research also concluded that the document was fake. He also alleges that Taitz asked him to give false testimony about speaking to specific people in Africa, and that she asked two other people to lie under oath.

"It began to become clearer and clearer to me that Orly Taitz had no understanding of the law," he writes.

Hey Cro-Magnon, her dentistry is supect too.

"I came to an exhaustive conclusion that Orly Taitz may be the 'Birthers' worst nightmare. Outside of paying attention to her own voice at length, Orly Taitz has the attention span of a small child."

Because being Take-It-To-Eleventy insane isn't nightmare enough?  It's telling that Smith's arrival at this conclusion was 'exhaustive'.  Most primates with I.Q. points greater or equal to the number of their fingers absorbed that fact instantaneously.  In fact, I'm not convinced Orly has the cognitive capacity to manage Heliotropism without a team of assistants.

Smith also reveals that Taitz stopped speaking to him after he told people that she was sleeping with Charles Lincoln, a member of her legal team. And he describes in detail Lincoln, who has been disbarred in three states, relating his opinion of Taitz's sexual performance.

ZOMG!  Charles Lincoln, the crack legal mind, Spiritual Patriot, and bonafide bat turd who was disbarred from California, Florida, and Texas in 2004 can now add Cougar PUMA trainer to his Curriculum Vitae. I can't speak to Orly's sexual prowess {shudder}, but those of us compos mentis know, unequivocally, that she sucks.  Pun intended.

Oh, and all the sordid details on the Lincoln / Taitz coupling are available via the HuffPo link in the opening.  Go ahead, you sick puppies, you know you wanna.

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Cat Scratch fever! (n/t) (2.00 / 5)


Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


I hope she floats another frivolous suit. (2.00 / 5)
The judge threatened to hit her for contempt if she did.

Bring the noise.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
Dammit, Fog! (1.83 / 6)
Now I have that bloody song running thru my head!

/tears

and here is....dear lord...just, here:

I may, someday, find it in my heart to forgive you, Fog.  

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I couldn't handle more than 35 seconds (2.00 / 4)
of that video. :~P

This is not a recession. It's a robbery.

[ Parent ]
I'm impressed you made it that far. (n/t) (2.00 / 3)


Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
/laughing (2.00 / 5)
I watch clips/re-runs of the Lawrence Welk show in part wonder....part horror.

Here is one of my particular favorite clips.
They just look so......earnest.
I mean, come on....the song has the word 'Jesus' in it...it must be wholesome....right?

Lawrence Welk Show...the original MTV. /snort

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[ Parent ]
/laughing...still... (2.00 / 6)
"There you've heard a modern spiritual by Gail and Dale"

Their outfits reminded me of this blog post:

http://15minutelunch.blogspot....

Read it ALL the way through....brings me to tears.


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[ Parent ]
Lawrence has no idea what they are signing about... (2.00 / 6)
...but they certainly do.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

[ Parent ]
"Signing"? (2.00 / 5)
I didn't notice much hand motion, but I did wonder where her hand was when they did the closeups.  

This is not a recession. It's a robbery.

[ Parent ]
Smartass. (2.00 / 4)


John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

[ Parent ]
Do you think they had any idea what a 'toke' is? (2.00 / 4)
On another note, that opening with the guy with the accordion is a hoot. Just seeing a guy with one should have warned everyone away from this show.

This is not a recession. It's a robbery.

[ Parent ]
Hey... (2.00 / 3)
Go easy on the accordian jokes.  Clifton Chenier is one of my all time favourites:



[ Parent ]
Sorry, I will always associate accordion music (2.00 / 3)
with Lawerence Welk and bad Polish wedding music.

This is not a recession. It's a robbery.

[ Parent ]
Then You Have Never... (2.00 / 2)
Done the zydeco.  Find an MP3 of Clifton doing 'Zydeco Cha Cha' or his son CJ doing 'Bad Feet' or 'I Ain't No Playboy.'  Best dancin' music ever, sixteen to the bar when it gets hot and salty.

[ Parent ]
Exhibit A: American Wheeze by 16 Horsepower (2.00 / 2)
Proper use of an Accordion:



Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
I would like to also submit Chris Ardoin and Double Clutchin'... (2.00 / 2)
Who, I will say, kicked Buckwheat Zydeco's ass when they appeared back to back at the Iron Horse a few years ago.



[ Parent ]
{{{clears throat}}} (2.00 / 4)
My dearly departed father played the accordian.  And, my mother loved the Lawrence Welk Show.  It's a wonder I grew up relatively sane.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
I'll have learned that song... (2.00 / 2)
...on guitar by midnight tomorrow. Guaranteed.

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
Why does Lawrence Welk make me think of this movie? (2.00 / 2)

Cause I am a twisted turd;~P

I am years behind and decades ahead. ~ Somebody else, I am certain


[ Parent ]
John really didn't like that video. (2.00 / 3)
These ladies kinda crank it up around the 1:40 mark.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
Interesting that you mentioned this (2.00 / 4)
I can't speak to Orly's sexual prowess {shudder}, but those of us compos mentis know, unequivocally, that she sucks.

Because if you read Smith's affadvit the detailed description of Ms. Taitz's bedroom prowess is on display to a level of detail I didn't need to know but yet remember as her being "hornier, hotter, wetter..." than a lot of the younger women Mr. Lincoln has slept with.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette


And yes, John, now I'm talking (2.00 / 5)
about sex.  :)

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
Please. (2.00 / 4)
The word sex and Orly Taitz do not go together in any way, shape, or form.

This is not a recession. It's a robbery.

[ Parent ]
Makes you throw up just a bit in you mouth (2.00 / 4)
to think about it, doesn't it?

Even worse to think she apparently gets more action than I do.  And I'm not that crazy.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette


[ Parent ]
*your* dangit! (2.00 / 3)


"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
There's "action" and then there is "action". (2.00 / 3)
Larry Craig gets more action than I do. That doesn't make me feel bad.

This is not a recession. It's a robbery.

[ Parent ]
Come to think of it, so does Carrie Prejean. (2.00 / 2)
I feel better.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
On the house: (2.00 / 4)
Photobucket

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
What?! (2.00 / 2)
Makes you throw up just a bit in you mouth

JUST A BIT?!?!

; )

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.


[ Parent ]
I am nothing if not the queen of the understatement. (2.00 / 2)
Unless I'm really pissed off and use words like "dangit" and "shoot."  :)

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
Heh. From experience, I meant. (2.00 / 3)
So she sucks, but per the affidavit, doesn't bite.  

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
Maybe Mr. Lincoln or Mr. Smith (2.00 / 3)
left out some details for a subsequent lawsuit.  Can't give up all the details at once or you have nothing left for the sequel.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
With My Advancing Years... (2.00 / 2)
I think I understand exactly what Lincoln is talking about, except maybe the 'wetter' part.  But that's easily remedied.

[ Parent ]
I'm not sure I want to know what that remedy is. (2.00 / 3)
'Cause my mind went straight where it didn't need to go; especially when there are Lawrence Welk videos in the vicinity.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
Surely You Don't Mean... (2.00 / 3)
Champagne bubbles?  Too low viscosity and surface tension.

[ Parent ]
"Tighter." (2.00 / 2)
That one actually didn't shock me all that much.

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.


[ Parent ]
Well, she has popped out a couple of children. (2.00 / 2)
I haven't had the pleasure myself but I'd suppose things down there would have expanded a bit in the effort.  Plus, she ain't no spring chicken.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
That beast has children? (2.00 / 2)
O noes!

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.


[ Parent ]
Three boys, per the wiki. (2.00 / 2)
I may have to add them to my nightly prayer list.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
vomitous... (2.00 / 5)


"I spend my days and nights pondering the meaning of life, the state of the universe, and the Home Shopping Network." -- Donald Roller Wilson

I'll bet that dog is smarter than Orly (2.00 / 3)
Better looking, too.

This is not a recession. It's a robbery.

[ Parent ]
Judge Land ain't lettin' Orly off the hook (2.00 / 3)
A federal judge in Georgia has ordered the US Attorney to collect a $20,000 judgment against Orly Taitz after the Birther attorney failed to pay the fine -- which she appealed -- within 30 days.

Here's the full order from Judge Clay Land, of the US District Court in the Middle District Of Georgia:

"Orly Taitz has failed to pay the $20,000.00 sanction ordered by the Court on October 13, 2009. Accordingly, the Clerk is ordered to enter final judgment in favor of the United States of America and against Orly Taitz in the principal amount of $20,000.00. The United States Attorney is authorized and directed to collect the judgment as provided by law.
IT IS SO ORDERED, this 13th day of November, 2009. "

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpoi...

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette


Ouch (2.00 / 3)
Mavericky gets expensive.

[ Parent ]
If you want to help her stay mavericky you can go to her (2.00 / 3)
virus-infected website and pay pal her some dough.  I'm sure she'd appreciate the support.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
Well... (2.00 / 3)
At least it's $20k that will be going to offset the deficit and not finance some fringe teabagger candidate who will help the Republicans lose another election.  No, wait...

[ Parent ]
On the bright side, Bob Bauer (the guy whose been defending (2.00 / 3)
these suits) may owe Orly his latest gig.  He's taking over as White House Counsel with the departure of Gregory Craig.

"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in teh stupid and waving a gun" ~ Esteev on Wonkette

[ Parent ]
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