Broken

by: slksfca

Mon Feb 18, 2013 at 21:07:02 PM EST



Semper AugustusIn the first decades of the 17th century the Dutch went mad for tulips. At the height of the craze in the 1630s, tremendous sums were given, fortunes were gained and lost - for a flower with no scent, no commercial application such as dye, or perfume, or medicine; a flower that bloomed for only a few days a year.

The most highly-prized tulips were those which, through some fluke, displayed variegated colors in flame-like striations; one of the most spectacular of these varieties was known as the Semper Augustus, a stunning blossom of deep carmine flames on a pure white ground.

These extraordinary flowers were called by the Dutch 'broken.'

slksfca :: Broken
What the botanists, horticulturalists and gardeners of that time didn't know was that the "break" which produced these vivid and unpredictable variations in color - these brilliant freaks of nature which were so admired that the greatest painters of the day repeatedly immortalized them on canvas - was caused by a virus.

Eighteen years ago next week I was diagnosed with a virus. As such events usually do, this came at what would seem, from the outside, to be a most inopportune and unwelcome time (is there ever a good one?). Life had never been better: I had a large circle of friends, was financially secure (with a promising job future), and was in superb physical condition. But my spirit was slowly dying.

I fainted when the doctor informed me that I had AIDS. Not because I was so naive as to believe that it could never happen to me, but rather because I fully recognized that things would never be the same. And indeed they weren't.

At the time, I was dating a guy, handsome and sweet, who had what I secretly considered an excessive paranoia (he had a thing about not brushing his teeth just before a date, so as not to cause any micro-abrasions in the mouth that might lead to infection from kissing). When I told him I'd been diagnosed he really tried not to freak out, but (as kindly as he was able) quickly broke up with me. It hurt, but I really couldn't blame him. Life presents each of us with difficult, sometimes heartbreaking decisions, and who was I to say his toothbrush obsession was wrong? I was now broken; 'damaged goods,' as we were described by someone in a gay magazine article I'd read.

As the months and years flew by I continued to go through the motions of life: work, social engagements, all the events that mark our days. But eventually there was a reckoning that came due, and when the crash came it was not physical, but emotional. I had what was once the fashion to call a nervous breakdown.

And then my spirit found the warmth of spring.

It's been a long, slow and (sometimes) painful journey, but thanks to whatever force or combination of forces you wish to call it - fate, mother luck, God's grace, the stars - I'm still here; my physical health is pretty stable, and my spirit is blossoming like never before.

One of my favorite snippets of lyric from Stephen Sondheim's musical Into The Woods tells us that, despite popular misconceptions,

Witches can be right
Giants can be good.

And viruses can heal.

Vanitas

Tulip mania occurred at the same time that bubonic plague was ravaging the Netherlands, a seventh of the population dying in Amsterdam alone. The Thirty Years War (1618-1648) between Catholic Spain and the Protestant North also was being waged, and a major defeat of the Swedes in September 1634 allowed more military resources to be directed against the Dutch. A Swedish victory in October 1636 also may have reduced demand for tulips by the Germans.

Disease, death, and despair all may have encouraged speculation.

-Tulipmania

Well, yes, for such is human nature. But it is also human to hope; and in my case at least, disease, death and despair have, paradoxically, given me hope, have taught me greater compassion for myself and for others, and have imbued me with a deeper appreciation for the infinite beauty and value of life. Sometimes "broken" really is better.

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Broken | 97 comments
I wrote this... (1.96 / 50)
...three or four years ago as a sort of introduction to the Street Prophets community. I thought I'd republish it here since I wanted to introduce myself to the herd, but don't feel competent to write diaries at the moment.

Even though it's not exactly "fresh," and despite my current health issues, this is still very much a true account of one important part of me. Thanks for reading!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)


Usually Moose Eds FP things willy-nilly like the ravenous horde we are (2.00 / 25)
(editors are actually a form of life slightly lower than flatworms, and as such not to be held accountable for their actions), but sometimes actually have thoughts and as such like to ask first.

Do you mind? This is definitively FP material, if that isn't being more intrusive than blogging is at the best of times.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
Thank you. (2.00 / 23)
I'm touched, and it would be a great honor. :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
And it was so... (2.00 / 23)
Thanks, I've always wanted the opportunity to say that. ;~)

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

[ Parent ]
Hah! (2.00 / 20)
A real "Fiat lux" moment, eh? ;-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
The organs tremble, the violins soar! (2.00 / 18)
I am just such a shameless ham. I'd like to create a universe sometime, purely for the pageantry of it all...

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

[ Parent ]
((((silky)))) (2.00 / 23)
You certainly don't seem broken to me! I'm so glad to "know" you.

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. - A.A. Milne

[ Parent ]
Likewise, ma'am. (2.00 / 21)
I've had so much fun becoming friends with you. Thanks a bazillion!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
A wonderfuil diary. A fierce for hope and beauty. (2.00 / 29)


Thanks, Portlaw! (2.00 / 24)


There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Beautiful. Just great. (2.00 / 26)
Here's hoping for a speedy recovery from your surgery so that you may once again feel well enough to write more diaries.  You write beautifully.  Thank you for sharing.

Very kind of you, Jk. Thanks! (2.00 / 24)


There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Thank you. (2.00 / 28)
I don't know much about you, and it's good to learn more. You do not seem broken to me, but whole.


Love anyway.

I think... (2.00 / 26)
...it's sort of a metaphysical paradox. I had to break before I could feel whole. Life is funny that way. ;-)

Thanks, Melanie.

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)


[ Parent ]
It certainly is. (2.00 / 25)
One of my very best friends has leukemia and we talk about just this very thing quite often.

He was diagnosed ten years ago - just on the cusp of the release of Gleevec which has kept him healthy and whole ever since. We didn't know that there was a "cure" the day we got the news, and his doctor didn't either. Just that free-falling feeling that something unthinkable was approaching.

There was the dizzying night of Internet research followed by both of us getting folks on the phone the next day involved in the Gleevec study. He went for another set of test recently and when he asked again what the life expectancy was his doctor said "we don't know, you're it".

His wife just went through breast cancer and mastectomy in the past few months. Prognosis is not bad as such things go but it is really too early to tell yet.

So the question we come back to when we talk about these things is whether the experience is fundamentally "bad". Is there any part that does not also have some good to it?

As you say, sometimes we need a little bit of breaking to be whole. The goal in life is not simply being alive, after all, but living.

Maybe there are things we go through which do us no good at all, but I don't know.

Beautifully written, silk.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
Yes! (2.00 / 18)
Is there any part that does not also have some good to it?

I've come to believe that what matters is not the "bad" things that happen to us, but how we react to them. Good and bad can both be found everywhere. It's just a matter of learning where to look. :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)


[ Parent ]
I got into a heated debate with one of my favorite lifelong debate partners (2.00 / 18)
just before my friend's diagnosis. He is quite cynical, so we find each other good foils to pick apart positions.

The topic was exactly this, and we went at it for hours.

I argued that even cancer was not arbitrarily and without reservation "bad", and while he never surrendered his point entirely he certainly ended up having to rely on basic philosophy.

I can't come up with anything that has ever happened to me that was only bad. I don't talk about the bullying thing as much as I do here, in part because it is touchy and in part because it was such an extreme experience that common conversations about general harassment never leave me feeling I have gotten across the true depths of it. But for all that, those few who know the extent of that in the context of who I became point out that it forged all of the unique characteristics that I treasure and that underlie my success in life. As my brother said, the best thing those kids ever accomplished in their lives was making me who I am.

So I don't know, I've not had cancer or AIDS or suffered the losses that others I know have. But I have yet to see anything in myself or anyone I know which cannot lead to something better than it was worse.


John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
You. Are. So. Beautiful. (2.00 / 27)
Thanks for this, my friend. It's a magnificent insight into true wholeness and inspires me tremendously.

{{{ urso }}} (2.00 / 25)
You are such a dear person, and I'm so lucky to have you for a friend. Thanks!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Beautiful (2.00 / 26)
And thanks for this:

Sometimes "broken" really is better.

Broken and yet whole. Here's hoping your upcoming surgery manages your current issues.

Enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war.

Barack Obama 1/21/2013


Thanks, iriti. (2.00 / 25)
I don't think I could face what's ahead without the support of online friends. I feel very lucky, and glad to be here in Purpleville. :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Beautiful not broken (2.00 / 26)
Thanks for putting yourself out here, so we can get to know you. I will forever think of you when I see variegated tulips.

"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

What a nice thought, Khloekins. Thanks! (2.00 / 25)
p.s. The variegated tulips we have nowadays are the closest we can get nowadays to what the truly "broken" flowers of the 17th century must have looked like. No more virii - hooray for modern plant breeding techniques! ;-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Thanks so much for sharing again - I missed this the first time. (2.00 / 24)
You remind me of Cohen's song -

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything -
That's how the light gets in.


Oh, yes! (2.00 / 24)
I'd read that long ago but had forgotten all about it. Captures perfectly (and succinctly) what I was trying to get at. Thanks so much!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
that was wonderful, dear silks (2.00 / 25)
I got goosebumps reading it.

Many of us are broken in our own way, I think. I still struggle with depression, especially now that I'm an orphan. Life must go on, so I do things that give me pleasure, like crafts and gardening, and it helps.

As it happens, I bought a pot of full-grown mixed bulbs today. It has daffodils, hyacinth, and tulips. I'm naming my tulips Silks. They may have no value otherwise, but they sure are beautiful, and so are you. {{{{hugs}}}}}


{{{ raina dear }}} (2.00 / 24)
I've never had a flower named for me before. That makes me smile THIS BIG! :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Not broken, better. You're right. (2.00 / 25)
When my life fell into crisis twelve years ago, I, too, went on a journey of self-discovery. We variegated tulips might have shortened lifespans, but aren't we gorgeous?

I love you, Scott. Your spirit and character and humor and compassion might have been there before AIDS, but I doubt you had this shine about you all those years ago. I think you're spectacular. ♥

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu


Oh, Kelley! (2.00 / 25)
"Spectacular" might be laying it on just a bit thick. But I accept the kind intent of it. :-)

Thanks for being there for me, dear lady!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)


[ Parent ]
Wait'll we get well and step out in the streets! (2.00 / 26)
You in your boa and heels with the goldfish, me in ... something ... both of us all healed up and dancing to this:

WE'LL BE SPECTACULAR!!!

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu


[ Parent ]
ps (2.00 / 23)
I had to turn that off. It makes me get up and try to dance, and my surgeon would just shit if he saw that. LOL!

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
LOL (2.00 / 24)
The boa I have. It's up to you to find some heels. ;-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
The heels with goldfish are out. (2.00 / 21)
I went looking for a photo - but all I could find was this lecture:

http://www.aquaticcommunity.co...

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu


[ Parent ]
ROFL (2.00 / 21)
Isn't the internet a marvel? There's truly a web page for everything under the sun! :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
And of course the ad there was for Zappos! (2.00 / 12)


[ Parent ]
And of course the ad there was for Zappos! (2.00 / 13)


[ Parent ]
Sunshine (2.00 / 27)
I don't have any "broken" tulips but I do have the sun shining through. You are a ray of sunshine and I'm glad you are here.

 photo SunThroughTulip-4_zps83771040.jpg

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." Oscar Wilde


Thanks, michele. (2.00 / 27)
I'm glad to see you here, too!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
You're clearly meant to be here, dear slksfca (2.00 / 26)
and meant to tell us about the next chapters in your story. With your eloquent talent for expression, a fine tale it will be, well told!  Take care of yourself, and the universe will do the rest!

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.


-- Oscar Wilde


Thank you so much. (2.00 / 23)
Praise from you is extra sweet because I really admire your writing (not to mention the fabulous limericks!).

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Beautiful. (2.00 / 27)
Beautiful writing from a beautiful spirit. Thank you, dear friend.

When our tulips come up in a few short weeks (hope springs eternal, you know), I will be thinking of your words. You will be rehabbing during the time that the bulbs will be starting to move, pushing up their green shoots, strengthening and then blooming. And you will do the same.

There is nothing broken about you. And by the way:  witches are right. ;)



Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


My dear Jan, (2.00 / 25)
...your record is perfect for making me feel welcome. I value our friendship so much! Thanks for the lovely thought about pushing up "green shoots, strengthening and then blooming." :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Lyrical. (2.00 / 26)
What a privilege to read your diary, slksfca.

One person can make a difference if that one person is committed to making a difference. - James Hood

Thank you (2.00 / 21)
I am privileged to have you as both friend, and reader.

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Great re-write Silks.I was not on KOS the first time. (2.00 / 26)
I love the tulip analogy. They are beautiful in all forms. And you seem to have found your heart as well. Frankly, I do not think I would call them or you as "broken," just different and nature needs diversity to survive.

On the lighter side, I had three planters of tulip bulbs coming up with 3-4" leaves - yesterday. The local foraging deer sheered them all off to about an inch above the bulb.

I used to love both deer and tulips.  


I missed the photo I meant to include: (2.00 / 23)


[ Parent ]
Thanks, Ron. (2.00 / 21)
I love tulips too, and the picture is gorgeous! The potted tulip on my back porch hasn't bloomed yet and I'm afraid it will while I'm away. But there's always next spring. :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Congrats silks! (2.00 / 25)
On making it 18 years. And here's to many more after that surgery is out of the way. I went and saw "How to Survive a Plague" tonight, so it was nice to come home and read your beautiful post here. Thank you! In a year it will be 30 years as damaged goods for me. Life has sure turned out to be a roller coaster ride, that's for sure. (When is your surgery btw? I've been out of the loop)

{{{ David }}} (2.00 / 22)
So glad to see you here!

My surgery is a week from tomorrow. I can't wait to start healing after what's been a tough year. :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)


[ Parent ]
Scott (2.00 / 21)
Always nice to see you too. I will be sending healing thoughts and light your way next week. You deserve to feel better soon. Maybe I'll look for some tulips to paint?

[ Parent ]
I know you'd do them justice... (2.00 / 20)
...because I'm a big fan of your work. Oh, and give Frank a hug from me, okay? :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Frank says thanks... (2.00 / 22)
and here he is in his Burberry coat, from the chilly mornings the last two days...

 photo cf795f1f-5be0-49ce-8be4-768133a45309_zps6dc27af0.jpg


[ Parent ]
Aww, thanks for that! (2.00 / 21)
I love how he's not only handsome, but well dressed! :-D

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
You know, I am not one to approve of jackets on dogs, (2.00 / 21)
but Frank actually looks downright styling with that on. He just needs a martini (shaken, not stirred) and a gold cigarette case.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

[ Parent ]
I've always thought (2.00 / 20)
Frank needs the gold cigarette case here:

 photo 42bac5eb-8eb3-4337-b78b-e63c13367c64_zps02185eb9.jpg



[ Parent ]
Dog. (2.00 / 19)
James, Dog.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

[ Parent ]
Lovely silks..... (2.00 / 24)
Well, yes, for such is human nature. But it is also human to hope; and in my case at least, disease, death and despair have, paradoxically, given me hope, have taught me greater compassion for myself and for others, and have imbued me with a deeper appreciation for the infinite beauty and value of life. Sometimes "broken" really is better.

Thank you my friend, thank you.

Love is the lasting legacy of our lives


{{{ dear princess }}} (2.00 / 22)
I'm so glad I could offer something that touched you. Hugs!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
I'm blinking grateful tears..... (2.00 / 23)


Love is the lasting legacy of our lives

[ Parent ]
Silks, I'm so glad you shared this here (2.00 / 23)
as I'd not read it before.  Beautiful story from a beautiful soul, beautifully told.  I'm glad to know a little more of what has made you the wonderful, warm, shining spirit you are.  

Bestest wishes for your surgery (finally!) and quick, complete recovery.


Such kind words... (2.00 / 22)
...from such a lovely person as you really touches me. Thanks, Ebby!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
wow Scott...beautifully written... (2.00 / 22)
so emotionally intelligent...much self-awareness...you really are special...I'm honored to call you a friend.

I'll be keeping an eye on you as your surgery approaches and then recovery begins...making sure the SF crew is there when needed...we want to make sure you have the best chance for a quick and complete recovery.

yesterday was a great day...from start to finish...thank you for being part of it.

peace and hugs to you.

"No disrespect intended, please accept my apology and disregard my previous comments."~GTP


{{{ Glen }}} (2.00 / 22)
I loved spending some time with you and your family. It was so good of you to come out of your way to meet me for brunch. Say hi to remembrance and TLO for me - and thanks so much for the kind words. You're a nut, but you're my kind of nut. ;-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
I will never look at a tulip again without thinking of you. This is (2.00 / 20)
lovely, just like you are.

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

Thanks so much, nannyboz! (2.00 / 14)


There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
slksfca, we might bend but we don't break. (2.00 / 20)
 photo urhausen024-2.jpg

i too had an experience with a virus about a dozen years ago that precipitated a breakdown similar to yours. i admire your courage to write about it, i doubt that i could. it completely shattered my trust, a profound trust that i had come to expect and rely on and i broke.

i painstakingly put the pieces back together, slowly, meticulously over time. having lived 58 years and experienced some very difficult moments, i now have what antique afficianados refer to as a wonderful 'PATINA.'

our sum is greater than our parts. {{{{slksfca}}}}

heal well and look for your dog, it's there waiting.


time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


Wow (2.00 / 17)
I'm so glad you took your time to comment. It was well worth waiting for. And...

i now have what antique afficianados refer to as a wonderful 'PATINA.'

...that made me smile. I often joke that I have a patina, and I've even described it as "Florentine crackle finish." Oh, and I'm 58 too. We 58-year-olds rock! :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)


[ Parent ]
at 58 i like to say (2.00 / 16)
I'm old enough to know better but young enough to realize how little i know.
We can add Jeff Daniels to our 58rocks club today!
Oh and i'm an admirer of 'Florentine crackle finish' too, especially on canvas.

Rock On slksfca!

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


[ Parent ]
Beautiful post slksfca, thank you. (2.00 / 16)


and please try and remember (1.94 / 16)
that it is the most loved things that always end up getting broken, not the stuff left sitting neglected on the shelf.  

[ Parent ]
Thanks, bill. (2.00 / 14)
I'm going to remember that one!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
I'm late to this one, as usual. (2.00 / 18)
But even late, I thank you, Silks, for writing something so wonderful.

I occasionally use a plant analogy too. Some of us, when broken, become bonsai - molded and twisted by fate and circumstance, into a shape that is exquisitely transcendent and beautiful.

You are bonsai. {{{{{slksfca}}}}}


Wow, that's perfect. (2.00 / 16)
I love bonsai, and used to grow them. Takes a lot of careful pruning, and sometimes wiring of the trunk and branches. Thanks so much for this!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
A new twist on an old expression (2.00 / 17)
To make an omelet you gotta break some eggs.  As potential energy becomes kinetic when the eggs escape their shells, so it can be with breaks of a human nature.

Hey, bubba. (2.00 / 15)
Well said, and typically perceptive of you. Thanks!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
hey, man. (2.00 / 3)
thanks for the diary.  very moving.

[ Parent ]
thank you silks (2.00 / 14)
I had not seen this before and I find your story inspiring. I hope as you recover from your surgery you will write more.  

There's nothing like eavesdropping to show you that the world outside your head is different from the world inside your head.--Thornton Wilder

I'm hoping to get back to writing... (2.00 / 15)
...something deeper than comment-length sometime soon. Thanks!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
For you, slksfca... (2.00 / 16)
Be we broken, forgotten, or scarred
And our finish irrep'rably marred
Deep inside, we survive
And against all odds, thrive
As with life's tribulations we've sparred.  

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.


-- Oscar Wilde


Wow. (2.00 / 14)
That's the most sublimely touching limerick I've ever seen. Wonderful! :-D

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
I want to thank you all collectively... (2.00 / 16)
...for the overwhelming and very warm response to my diary. I'm deeply touched, and profoundly grateful to be a part of this friendly herd!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

I just reread your diary because I had (2.00 / 16)
been thinking about it on and off since I read it last night. I found that I liked it even more the second time round!

[ Parent ]
Thanks so much. (2.00 / 15)
What a cheering thing to read. I'm grateful!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Thank you for this... (2.00 / 16)
So beautiful and moving. I don't really know you but I am enjoying slowly coming to learn more about your from writings and your kind comments. Always kind, always considerate of others. Now I understand how that came to be.

Hugh Prather once wrote about how life experiences can leave us brittle and unyielding or they can shape us like well worn leather...Comforting, nice to be near, flexible and giving. Someone up thread called it a certain "patina" a very good description of leather well worn. You have such grace in all that you've faced and give hope to others by sharing your life.

In my own life, broken is found in the challenges of my daughter...Sometimes the life we plan never happens, but the life we make after changed circumstances gives us gifts beyond what we could have imagined. Or at least that's been my experience.

Thank you again. I hope your upcoming surgery is successful and you heal quickly.

Suzi

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle"...."We make a Living by what we get...We make a Life by what we give."  


What a lovely comment, LeftOverFlowerChild! (2.00 / 12)
And I am so glad that you see why so many of us love this man who shares so much of his life with us. Laughter and tears, campiness and kitsch ... his spirit is large.  

And I love your sig line. Your words honoring our friend, who is now your friend, were a gift to me.


Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
{{{ Jan }}} (2.00 / 11)


There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Eeeek! (2.00 / 10)
This is NOT what I thought "kitsch" meant:
excessively garish or sentimental art; usually considered in bad taste

"I will NOT guess at the meaning of words"
"I will NOT guess at the meaning of words"
"I will NOT guess at the meaning of words"
"I will NOT guess at the meaning of words"
"I will NOT guess at the meaning of words"

::: leaves in disgrace ... or because it is past my bedtime :::

Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
ROFL! (2.00 / 9)
That's okay, Jan. Kitsch does have a corner of my heart all to itself (none of my other interests, except perhaps "camp," want anything to do with it.)

;-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)


[ Parent ]
Well, I was going for the "sentimental art" but the "usually considered in bad taste" startled me. (2.00 / 4)
Some words I have an incomplete grasp on and I usually look them up before I use them online (one must never be WRONG on the Internets, you know). When I blog from my smarterthanmephone I can't easily open up another browser window to look things up so I have to take my chances. Fortunately a well-placed "eeeek" on a friendly slow-speed blogspot works to paper over most transgressions.  

Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
Wow, just wow. (2.00 / 12)
Thanks so much for your lovely, lovely comment. I do hope we quickly become much better friends, because you are a wonderful person. And I realize it's probably selfish of me to want to share some of your wonderfulness. ;-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Thank you dear silks for (2.00 / 12)
sharing this diary. I almost missed it. I'm so glad I came to the Moose to see what's happening.

Beautifully written, nicely expressed thoughts. Hugs my friend.


Oh maggiejean, I'm so glad... (2.00 / 11)
...you got to see this. And I'm still hoping to meet you in person at some festive occasion in the not-too-distant future. Thanks for the hugs and the kind words!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
I'm late to the party, but I hope you are still checking in (2.00 / 10)
You welcomed me when I was scared to return--a prodigal daughter, of sorts. I changed my name at Street Prophets, because I was different than when I started.

Your welcome always has meant the world to me. I was broken in many ways. Your kindness led to a special kind of healing for me.

Thank you for this diary. Thank you for the love you share.

Love you right back {{{{Scott}}}}

Peace, Hope, Faith, Love


And you will always be special to my heart, dear friend. (2.00 / 10)
Getting to know you was truly one of my favorite parts of the whole SP experience. And I'm so glad you're here, too!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
I'm late to the party, but I hope you are still checking in (2.00 / 9)
You welcomed me when I was scared to return--a prodigal daughter, of sorts. I changed my name at Street Prophets, because I was different than when I started.

Your welcome always has meant the world to me. I was broken in many ways. Your kindness led to a special kind of healing for me.

Thank you for this diary. Thank you for the love you share.

Love you right back {{{{Scott}}}}

Peace, Hope, Faith, Love


Thank you for sharing yourself (2.00 / 5)
with us all Silky. Looks like you have flipped the "hourglass of doom" upside down with the grains of sand flowing upward into life - rather than a timer ticking off time left on the planet. It is really tough getting a diagnosis as you did - and then moving through the stages of processing it, with all the baggage - from denial to rage to depression...just want to reach through the computer this morning and give you a big hug!



"If you're in a coalition and you're comfortable, you know it's not a broad enough coalition"

Bernice Johnson Reagon


Denise, thanks so much... (2.00 / 5)
...for your thoughtful comment. You've made my morning. :-)

{{{Hugs}}} back!

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)


[ Parent ]
Broken | 97 comments
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