A View From the Swamp - WTH Have I Done?

by: Mortifyd

Sat Jan 12, 2013 at 11:02:49 AM EST



So I've been here at my parents house in the swamps of Louisiana for almost a month now.  

For those new to the View From the Whatever - I lived on my broken down but eventually sailible boat in Oregon until just before Christmas. I had to come home because I needed help I just couldn't find in Oregon and my condition was deteriorating.

But it's been hella weird being here - and I really miss my boat.

So - my parents are "comfortable" (NOT wealthy by any means) FOXbot birthers. Yeah, I'm not kidding. My family was military - Dad was Army, I was briefly  Active Duty Navy until a medical discharge took me out - before I could score any awesome benefits or impress Dad.

But that's not important right now - it's this other thing I may have mentioned over at the Orange place in my series...

Mortifyd :: A View From the Swamp - WTH Have I Done?
My Dad has become a Cat Lady.  Just retreat now if you don't want to hear about that in some detail. I understand.  BELIEVE ME.

I mean Cat Lady, how else do you describe it? There are 12 indoor and at least 5 outdoor cats.  One of the indoor cats is mine, a lovely tempered little manx.  I keep him in our room as much as possible.  His proper food is in here as well as his private litter box.  I also keep a supply of toys and treats in here and dole them out regularly.

Dad turned the bathtub in the loo that used to be my brothers into a giant litter box. Gross.  Necessary I suppose - but gross. As someone who lived on a boat for years, I dreamed of bubble baths as compensation for retreating to the parental units.

Not so much.

One of the reasons I came home was to ease the gap of 23 or so years where I dared to go off and have a life of my own without their control - which was necessary given their level of hyper control I was escaping at the time.

The other was I needed better access to medical care and psychological care than I could get - small town Oregon is very historic and good for many things - but there were not many options for the care I need at the moment. So it took a lot of effort and help and work - but I got here.

And discovered my dad is a Cat Lady.  He gets up at 4 am to feed them all, and has an absolute panic if someone is late to the feed.  My Mum and I - we're entirely secondary to his herd of  cats.  We cook, we clean - he cats.

BUT.  Now Nigel has had all his shots and the like being a single kitty until now - but I'm not very keen on him mixing with Dads.

One of his older cats uses the hallway to my room (which is just off the kitchen) as his personal litter box - and he's worm INFESTED.  I know - I'm cleaning it up every morning because I don't want to walk through worms - or have Nigel walk through them either.

There is hair everywhere. I'm constantly wiping and dusting and sneezing and dripping and who knows how much I will ingest before it's over. I get that cats think their hair is a seasoning - but 12 is a bit heavy for my palate.

One of the outdoor cats died of Feline HIV before we got here.  We suspect another one of the 5 remaining is infected - if not all of them.  He won't get them tested.  While they stay outside - he's constantly going back and forth between them and I know he's not disinfecting his hands or shoes.

I don't want him touching Nigel. At all.

He won't worm them - my cobra gunship pilot Dad that didn't hesitate a second to snatch me up as a kid and beat the shit out of me won't corral them - he gets all anxious and weird trying to sweet talk them and they clear the hell out. If it gets done my Mum has to do it - and since she's busy it doesn't happen.

So now I have to make sure Nigel is regularly getting dewormed - the others are all contaminated. Another worry I didn't have on the boat.

Every time I turn around my Dad is in here trying to mess with Nigel - he thinks he "speaks cat", he does not speak Nigel - Nigel wants nothing to do with him.  Yowling at him hiding under the bed.  Offering him treats he doesn't like. Trying to take him out of here to "play" with the others. Over my objections of course, because he knows cats better than anyone who ever lived.

I don't know who this Cat Lady dude is - it does not compute with the man of my childhood.  And I like the other cats - well, most of them, not the floor shitter - and some of them like me WAY more than I would really prefer.  What can I say, animals like me.

But this is getting into weird shit territory - and not all of it can just be scooped up.  Humans no longer matter - it's the cats.  None of their friends have come over in years because of it.  Their social life together is nonexistent - they used to be on Mardi Gras Crewes. They used to entertain regularly. Now my Mum does her things with her friends in other places - and he stays home to fret over his cats.  

And fret he does. Constantly. To all of us and Sean Hannity too I suspect, though I just avoid the living room all together as the FOX zone. Upsets my stomach that noise on 24/7 as 50 volume.

I wonder some times - how will this affect my ability to get better?  My chances to leave and go home to my boat and the plans I have for my life once I'm better? How will Nigel come out of all this health wise with the lack of concern for contamination, lack of regular vet care, worms, feline HIV - will he survive? Or will I simply end up trapped here forever in the Swamps, covered in cat hair never to see my little floating home again.

SO...yeah.  I live with a Cat Lady Colonel and a food hoarder, but that's a whole other diary.

Poll
How many cats is too many cats?
0
1
2
3
4
Whenever they outnumber the people in the house
When a bathtub litterbox seems logical to you
When you talk about nothing else
10
More than 10

Results

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I didn't really need to eat breakfast anyway. (2.00 / 13)


I did mention turning back LOL (2.00 / 14)
I find myself leaving more and more meals uneaten lately...

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  

[ Parent ]
Let me just be blunt, Mortifyd. (1.91 / 11)
If you're there for health reasons then methinks you're working at cross purposes.

Hope you find a less dysfunctional place to recoup your health so that you can return to your independent life on your little sailboat. Best wishes and shine the light.


[ Parent ]
I'm here for a lot of reasons (2.00 / 9)
and it may be that I can actually get the help I need personally - I have made it through the first hurdle for the clinic - so I can get better and go home.  I couldn't get that in Astoria.

My Dad is aging badly and will likely die in a couple years. We know this.  If I don't make things right now - they won't be right - and that is a heavy thing to carry.

I'm in no danger of starving or the deprivation I experienced on the boat - and I scrub the hell out of the kitchen daily while I watch my Gordon Ramsay fix - it's as clean as I can get it before food gets made.  As a chef - I need a clean kitchen to work in and just do not tolerate gross in a kitchen I actually use.

I am very frustrated at the whole cat thing - but 12 isn't 70 - holy crap, someone had 70!!! and I don't expect to see more indoor cats at least - and Nigel is barely allowed out of my room, and NEVER outside.  He also got wormed tonight.  He's had all the shots they give - so he should be ok - I just worry a lot - it's part of my issues.

I just need to vent from time to time. I don't actually have any close friends - so I write.

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
Makes a lot of sense, Mortfyd.. (2.00 / 7)
Best wishes and be well.  

[ Parent ]
Depending how you define that, (2.00 / 6)
I don't actually have any close friends - so I write.

You in fact might.

We just met so while I would call you a friend I know I don't know you well enough to fit the definition of a close friend yet. But for me, many of my dearest friends are people who I have not only never met in person but never heard their voices. Many are right here, and my interactions with them are as rich or richer than friends I have known more physically or longer.

You probably have more close friends than you know.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
well,,, I have a close feelings for many people (2.00 / 4)
I've never met in meat space - and a hard time conjuring feelings for people I have... it's complicated. LOL

But in terms of someone I could just write an email to and get responses that help or are correspondence - not so much.  

I met my wifeish on line and after all that, it kind of damaged my ability to deal with people on an emotional level and expect it to actually mean anything.  WHOLE other diary trying to explain that mess. LOL

I'm either complex - or just think too damn much crazy. Or both. :P

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
Very good diary fodder. (2.00 / 2)
Over the holidays we visited friends in the woods north of Toronto.

Our son Damien is 17 and extremely plugged into the Internet, as are we. His friend Ryan lives miles in the woods away from the nearest town and his family is only lightly plugged in. Talking with his Ryan's mother about this issue I said the same sort of thing to her that I said to you, that relationships can form online that are as real as any others. She had a hard time with the concept.

Since Damien has moved with us as we have moved about the face of the planet all of his life his social circle is an interesting example of that. He has friends he has known in person in Utah, Ontario, Florida, North Carolina, California and Tennessee as well as friends he has never met in person. Friday night he met with a friend from California that he met online when we lived in Florida, who is visiting grandparents here in TN. His close friendships exist in a state where physically meeting is only another means of communicating and interacting, and while satisfying, not the primary determinant of friendship.

This may be harder for many older folks to ever grasp. Among Damien's generation there are those who, like him, have always lived in this world and those like Ryan in Ontario are only partly familiar with. For Damien's children, however, it will be the obvious state and the experience of their grandparents will be as foreign to them as my own grandparents' experience - growing up unable to communicate at all with anyone further away than can be walked - is to my generation.

Despite the growing-pain experience our generation has experienced, the friendship building of Damien and future generations I believe is a much healthier model. Restricted to that handful of individuals within my childhood physical range, I like others of my generation was forced to build friendships among a limited pool and under conditions that were arbitrary and somewhat artificial. Relationships are about the content of minds not the location of hands, after all.

Observant Mormons have a cultural process for dating that is perhaps analogous to this current and future relationship building.

A young couple is encouraged to spend a great deal of time talking with each other prior to committing to a serious relationship. This way they get to know the person inside the body on an intellectual basis, separate from the relationships between the bodies themselves.

By contrast, the process of meetings someone at an arbitrary physical location - say a bar - arranging to have sex, enjoying that a lot, getting married and then eventually getting to know the person is fairly obvious to be more than a bit backwards.

Online we have the opportunity to get to know people as who they really are. Whether anyone is male or female, large or small, physically disabled in some way or not, of a member of a given ethnicity: none of these things are necessarily even part of establishing that relationship.

Rather than the negative view many my age or older have of online relationships - a risk to be viewed more skeptically than the "real" experience of meeting "in person" - it is in reality quite the opposite. Meeting someone physically is the hardest way to meet them "in person", because how we perceive them is first based on  their physicality. The part of a person that matters least.

We will look back and see our notion of relationships stood on its head and the cause of many of our difficulties. The model of relationship building that many of our children already know, and that future generations will rightly see as predominant, fosters cultures based much less on false perceptions and much more on valid assessments. Cultures in which those who have worked for a better world would see the realiztion of their dreams.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.


John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

[ Parent ]
my parents don't get the connected thing (2.00 / 2)
well my Mum does a little, just not quite so much.

About the Mormon dating thing - observant Jews are the opposite.  Not so much with the corresponding or even getting to know the other person at all - just straight up - how many kids, what schools, where do you hold on various things, what is your family customs for this that and the other - even are you a carrier for Tay-Sachs is last in line and not a dealbreaker - WHEN IT SHOULD BE.  Get married quickly - sometimes meeting at the wedding - and work it out.

I spent 8 years conversing for hours a day with my wife - and it was a lie. A destroy my life and never trust anyone again just hit the off switch on feelings forever lie.  So even when you think you know someone - you don't.

It can kind of go either way.  But I do expect it to be the norm - and if I ever get stable and healthy enough to be allowed to adopt kids - I would know those connections are very real.

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
Your experience is an example of why it is so hard to form relationships at all. (2.00 / 2)
They are all about risk. How can we know that as we open ourselves to another we do not end up realizing our worst fears?

We cannot.

Your experience notwithstanding, though, I suggest that it is in fact entirely possible to know someone. While you can never be 100% certain on an academic level that you are not being fooled, you can get so far past that concern that your trust will always prove to be valid.

"forever" is along time. Until you get there, don't be too quick to judge who you will be when you arrive. It is entirely possible that you may never heal completely - many do not - but it is also possible that you will.

A large part of determining which path you will take is whether you allow yourself to risk as much as you have before. The tendency will be not to. Only luck and your ability to push yourself when and as you are able to break past that scarring will give you any chance at all.

Take some hope in the fact that there are those who have suffered much worse who have managed to find their way out of that maze. Yes, they are the exception, but you will always have the potential to be one, too.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
with issues of attachement already... (2.00 / 3)
and the pressure to produce some human grandkids in some method or other - my brother and I are both sterile and both had our hearts decimated - I'm the one still expected to rustle some up somewhere, somewhen as the eldest - issues or not.

We'll see. I am over the wife now - and given the fact she's an international bigamist back at home with her other husband - getting the paperwork undone kind of falls on me too.  I never do anything halfassed, I go for the total clusterfuck.

LOL

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
HA!` (2.00 / 2)
I never do anything halfassed, I go for the total clusterfuck.

You and me both, brotherman. Go big, or go home.

;~)

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
I love that you are watching Gordon Ramsay in the midst of all this. (2.00 / 5)
My kid is in culinary school. He and his friends crack a sixpack and watch Gordon Ramsay all the time the way some watch sports. He considers Hell's Kitchen and the rest the most entertaining thing on tv.

[ Parent ]
Gordon helps me keep grounded LOL (2.00 / 4)
He's not only a brilliant chef, he honestly wants to help the people on his show.  He does.  He invests time and energy that sometimes the recipients only begin to realise after the fact - and he says "fuck" almost as often as I do.

I get on my marathon and start tearing shit apart - we have a HUGE fridge that is so packed things get lost in it - and my Mum is quite short - under 5' tall.  She's the food hoarder.

If I can just get her to rotate a little I'll have had a small victory.  And I get to laugh and scrub and ignore the fact that in the other room there is a dedicated sewer of right wing effluvium that "OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! YOU DONKEY!" cancels out a couple hours a day.  

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
my former-inlaws did this (1.92 / 12)
my former sis-in-law and i gave them 3 grandchildren in 6 weeks and they adopted/rescued/etc 70 cats.

my son contracted ringworm.  got kicked out of swimming lessons.  

one of their neighbors phoned them in to the county, and i made a statement to the county.

they have a network of other cat freaks.  they move these cats around to keep the county from taking them.  

my former f-law used my HOME to coordinate some of this cat-swapping.

there is no way to protect Nigel from the germs for the virus or the worms in that environment, and i am sure it is not good for your own health.

i have a statement in my divorce decree that my children may not visit  their grandparents until there are 4 or fewer cats.    


OMG OMG OMG 70. (2.00 / 5)
That won't happen here.  We have pretty much put the kibosh on his gathering anymore on the inside at least.

I'm just horrified that this is what my dad became.  My dad is a freaking hero, a man who saved a lot of lives and gave his life's best years to his country and all he cares about is FOX and furbabies.  His father and a large number of his aunts and uncles (6 or 7 out of 12 siblings) died of complications of Alzheimers. As the crazypants kid - it's not reassuring about MY future, either.  

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
A note about Alzheimer's: (2.00 / 6)
I have read on several occasions that people who are actively multi-lingual (maybe even bi-lingual) tend NOT to get Alzheimer's. What the scientific basis of that is, I'm not sure, but you might want to research it. I remember that you mentioned somewhere that you are a language buff, so if you might have some protection from the disease.

On another note: I'm a professional translator, so if your command of another language (or several) is proficient, I could help with some pointers on earning a living using your talent (if you are interested), once you are ready and healthy enough to do so.

Whatever you do, best of luck!

Wer kämpft, kann verlieren. Wer nicht kämpft, hat schon verloren.
                       - Bertolt Brecht


[ Parent ]
I just checked - Google Alzheimer's and language (2.00 / 3)
There are quite a few articles about it, and from reliable sources, like National Geographic and The Guardian. So this is not some off-the-wall theory formulated by questionable people. So everybody, if you don't already speak a second language - you had better get started!!!

Wer kämpft, kann verlieren. Wer nicht kämpft, hat schon verloren.
                       - Bertolt Brecht


[ Parent ]
oooh translator.... (2.00 / 3)
I would be interested in just pointers and details of something like that.  I have a written and reading proficiency in several languages, aurally I'm strongest right now in English and French, but I use those on a daily basis.  TV5Monde is my friend and my dialect - Belgian.  I have been told several times by profs and native speakers of a couple languages I have a "gift of phrase" that would serve me well in translation work.

Korean is my latest puzzle - I just... I eat languages.

I can be reached at ~the name I use here~@gmail.com  Even just an idea of how proficient I need to be, languages the consistent work is in - some kind of GOAL other than "I'ma sail the world because I have a deep seated need to!" would probably be good for me.

At least I can now excuse my difficulty finding words on having too many options, rather than dying braincells. Mum speaks French, Dad is English ONLY dagnabbit!

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
Happy to help you out. I'll shoot you an e-mail tomorrow with (2.00 / 3)
some info and (hopefully) helpful links.

Wer kämpft, kann verlieren. Wer nicht kämpft, hat schon verloren.
                       - Bertolt Brecht


[ Parent ]
all the weird crap is just to not throw my email out there (2.00 / 2)
too much, but it's just my plain name, no extra characters.

Looking forward to it!!!


And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
I'm sorry to hear (2.00 / 12)
you're having such a hard time. That sounds like a really awful situation.

My parents are nutty FOX-devoted conservatives too. I hope my dad continues to hate cats though, because I don't think I could handle a tub full of litter and cat shit. I have 4 cats myself, but we stick to good old fashioned litterboxes. ;)

One of them is actually a manx named Maxi. But I just call 'im  Manx lotsa times. It's an awesome breed.

Sending positive thoughts your way -- and Nigel's too.  

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.


Dad scoops it a couple times a day (2.00 / 6)
and it's the other side of the house - the idea just grosses me out.

Nigel has an old fashioned box in here I scoop daily as well.

I just get frustrated and I write.  It's kind of how I cope, not so much screaming OMG OMG GET ME OUT - if it was that bad I would be somewhere else.  Anywhere else.

But for a lot of reasons I need to be here right now - Dad isn't going to live forever.  He's old before his time and we know what that means.  This is it if I want to fix that before he goes.


And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
Sorry, Morty, that sounds ungood. (2.00 / 11)
Your dad needs help, of course you know that. As a vet he may have the chance for that many others don't have.

Hope you can find a way out. I know how hard that can be, getting caught in circumstances without the resources seemingly necessary. But my opinion is that you should find a way to be someplace else, however impossible that seems. It is highly unlikely that you or your dad will get better in that environment, and if you are not there you might be able to call in help for him without being within his reach to suffer his wrath for it.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


this was better than the boat at the time (2.00 / 2)
And there are reasons, as mentioned in some of the comments that echo your very real and logical concerns.

But yeah - this is still a step up in some ways. :(  Oregon winters in little boats are hard.

Dad doesn't exactly... do help. Like many men his age, vets or not. He's a very black/white guy - shades of gray scare him and cause other problems. So the rest of us just have to cope and do what we can.  

And some of my own issues are directly related to being basically unattached emotionally to my own immediate family members - so while it's shocking, it's kind of important to be here.

My Mum and I are looking at small travel trailers - I could end up going Roma/Traveller in the the garden and be quite chill with that.  


And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
hmm.., mortifyd, you seem to be caught in an unhealthy catch 22. (2.00 / 9)
i seem to remember HB III doing a diary for you over at GOS, very sorry the move hasn't turned out as well as planned.

peace.  

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


Well, it's in many ways better than the boat (2.00 / 3)
but I have to admit, Mum really played down the whole Cat Lady thing and how OLD and really OLD Dad has become.

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  

[ Parent ]
easy for me to say, I know, but (1.89 / 9)
you need to get outta there. Stat.

Your father needs help. Your mother too, most likely, although perhaps of a different kind.

The cats need something in their food that will vaccinate against feline HIV (don't even know if there is such) and/or ringworm.

Your manx needs to be outta there, too.

Did you sell the boat? Got enough money to go elsewhere? Tell 'em you're allergic to more than one cat at a time. Or re-home yours and tell them you're allergic, period.

Best of luck.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas. -- Anonymous


I still have the boat in the Marina (2.00 / 5)
not living there actually lowers the bills and the slip is paid until June, it's just electric and the liveaboard fees that have to be paid until I get back.  I just don't have a job and am not sure where things stand with SSDI - and if I get a job I lose any chance of qualifying for medicaid down here - which would pay for my treatment needs through the local community clinic.

They've definitely determined that I need help, that it can be provided - and if I want it, I need to stay broke.  Without my parents housing and feeding me - that would be a lot harder.

I think Nigel is beginning to want to stay in our room more - so that reassures me a bit as well - he knows his Daddy will take care of him - and if I don't want him somewhere it's for a good reason.  A couple years as a boat cat - he trusts me when I say NO to a request to go through a doorway.

Nigel is a life bond - I need him as much as he needs me.  Pets are permanent in my universe - not all of my Dad's are actually pets.

I took Nigel out of a near death scenario and made sure he lived. I am responsible for him until he dies - and I don't want to live without him - I have a little Cat Lady myself.  I just do one at a time.  Serial Cat Lady Man.  :P

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
I have one cat living in one room (2.00 / 3)
because she doesn't get along with the others (all male) -- long story, but it boils down to keep her confined or deal with house spraying.

As it happens, it was her favorite room anyway; she's got a window seat for entertainment, and my company for several hours a day (it's where the computers live); and she's happy in her own small world.  Only took about a day for her to stop wanting to escape.  The stress level in the whole house is way down for all of 'em.

So I think Nigel will be just fine as far as being a one-room cat.  You are right to worry about his contracting disease from the others, though; I'd be very worried too.

If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done subjunctively.


[ Parent ]
I understand about cats, (2.00 / 2)
and yes pets are for life.

Is there any way to can get a tenant in to sublet your boat, at least generate enough $ to cover fees?

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas. -- Anonymous


[ Parent ]
it's jammed full of belongings and parts for the refit (2.00 / 2)
When I get back I have to rent a storage space so I can move back in. :P

If it were bigger, or less full of my crap that would be an awesome idea actually.

And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
Since others have mentioned it several times, (2.00 / 7)
I will reinforce. Please consider leaving a situation that sounds the opposite of healthy. Hell you could live here with me for a while if we could scrub the catshit smell out first. For old times' sake, there is even a sailboat parked by the side of the house. A fish out of water, like these mormons working the wineries. You could help me figure out what the hell to do with it. Then we could plot our revenge against the empire. The possibilities are limitless.

our room is spotless. I'm a bit of a neat freak given room to be one (2.00 / 4)
The messes are cleaned up because I can't stand them.  I understand that the shitter is old. He doesn't do change well.  I just am not as forgiving as they are to the mess.  I asked them to put a litterbox by my door to offer the shitter more options if it's just age and not spite.  They don't really make cat Depends. :P

The way the house is laid out this room wasn't used, just closed up - so it's the least cat hairy and not a place they were allowed to roam - and they still aren't - Nigel is.  Dad also changed the air filters today and that has helped my allergies - just since he's changed them.  

And I think right now they need me as much as I need them - cat issues and food hoarding aside.  I just have to write - to get my feelings out without hurting theirs - they wouldn't go NEAR a "librul" website without assistance - I can vent safely here or at teh Orange.  

Now... you are making tempting noises - you have a boat? OOOOOH SHINEY. :D  You need help with said boat? OOOOH :D:D:D  Perhaps I could road trip... the car title should be here this week and they insist I have to have a working car of my own to get around, which is nice - since they will be paying for it.  


And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
Understand I am ten miles down the road (2.00 / 5)
and around the corner from the absolute middle of fucking nowhere. But you are welcome any time. If you could handle Astoria this would be a walk in the park. (I love the whole coast, Newport, everywhere, but seriously to winter in Astoria?)

[ Parent ]
It nearly killed off Lewis and Clark. (2.00 / 5)


[ Parent ]
This is true! (2.00 / 5)
I did two winters there on my CAL 25 - this year I knew I was too sick too soon to make to through a third without some real problems - and I got out.

I love my boat - I love the water - I'm one of those weirdos that would be completely content just sailing around the world again and again until I die.  

I've never been settled - born an Army nomad and quite at home in Roma culture. (Had an adoptive Sinti grandma) - my live has been a quilt of cultures and languages and I am grateful for it all.  I have bio cousins who are Kaldarash and my brother nearly married a Kaldarash girl.  While I don't consider it "my" ethnic - I get it in a way many gadje do not.


And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
Ah! (1.75 / 4)
Isn't "gadje" kind of, what's the word, perjorative? Trash talk. Not that I care, but people get all bitchy on the intertubes.

[ Parent ]
well... yes and no. It's a term of exclusion yes (2.00 / 5)
and that offends people who feel they shouldn't be excluded from anything they take a liking to.  But I'm not ethnically Roma - so I'm rightfully excluded.

I'm not fluent in the variations of Rom - but to me it works like "goyim" - it just means "those other people who aren't us" and doesn't inherently mean anything shitty other than "not us."

I can be wrong about that - not being fluent, but I simply prefer not to take offense to it because I think I mostly understand the concept behind it.  There might simply be other "nicer" words I haven't been exposed to. :P


And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
You are a chef? (1.80 / 5)
It was great surprise to me, but the best restaurant, the best food I have ever experienced anywhere, opened about a mile from my house. There is a whole scene here of pop up cafe nights, etc. It is quite odd.

I'm a lot of things actually. My work and education are... interesting. (2.00 / 5)
I was trained in a bakery first, I love baking as much as I do cooking - which is unusual in a chef. And by bakery I mean real freestanding bakery came in at midnight to fire up the ovens and start 500lbs of baguette dough and then make the bagels before anyone else arrived bakery. I worked my way up to head baker in a couple places and sous chef in a couple more.  I have worked as an executive, but without the title - and I an a fanatic and highly educated about food safety as well.  The last kitchen I ran when the electric guys came in to work on the walk in - they made a point of telling us it was the cleanest commercial kitchen they had EVER seen.  I was very pleased by that.

Take advantage of good food when you find it - good places need support particularly during their first years.  It's a labour of love to put out consistently good food.  Love them back - eat it. :D


And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  


[ Parent ]
I have a fantastic local supermarket actually (2.00 / 5)
It was once a hole in the wall and is now the big guy anchoring the mall. Mexican foods are their specialty. They carry fresh pompano, fresh frog legs, you name it. I love their green chorizo although not everyone does, it is extremely garlicky and neon green. The story is that if you wear green socks they will steal them off you and put them in the chorizo, because they grind up parsley stalks and everything green they can find to stuff in there.

[ Parent ]
mmmm mexican (2.00 / 3)
I was just telling my Mum the other day I have to find out where the Mexicans actually shop - because I need flavours I can't find at their regular shopping stops.


And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...  

[ Parent ]
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