Let's get uncomfortable

by: plf515

Thu Jan 24, 2013 at 15:03:27 PM EST



This was originally posted in Orange.

I got the idea for this diary from Denise's diary over on GOS Silence is still deadly. Denise's sig line is


"If you're in a coalition and you're comfortable, you know it's not a broad enough coalition" Bernice Johnson Reagon

Let's get uncomfortable, shall we?

Let's make a big coalition.

Remember ACT UP?
Actually, you don't need to remember them, they're still around; you can find them online.

Silence does equal death.

But what if we ALL Act Up?

Not just regarding AIDS, and certainly not just people who HAVE AIDS or HIV; not even just their friends and lovers and relatives.

Of course, we are ALL related to people with AIDS. Just a question of how closely related. And even if it isn't very closely (and how would you know? Do you know the HIV status of all your second cousins? At age 50 I discovered some second cousins I didn't know I had.  Those are my great grand parents great grand children. That's pretty close).  But everyone is related to everyone. But, as I said, even if we aren't that closely related, we should be concerned. If you're only interested in the health and welfare of your closest relatives .... well.....

But it's bigger.

Let's make a big coalition.

You know. With all sorts of people in it. All the people who make OTHER people feel uncomfortable, bad or icky. They might even make some of US feel uncomfortable, bad or icky.  Heck, some people make ME feel that way.

But they don't make me feel like they are sub-human or unworthy of care.

I, personally, feel uncomfortable watching some public acts of affection (between two men, two women or one of each).

That's my hangup, not theirs. And it's OK. Everyone's got some hangups.

One of the groomsmen (Ellen) at my wedding was a lesbian; I found out, years later, that one of the maids of honor told Ellen not to hold her hand. Oy. That's not OK. That's letting her hangup hurt someone else. Not OK at all.

So, let's get uncomfortable.

When I see people with tons of body piercings, it makes me uncomfortable. Dunno why. Just seems weird to me. But that's OK. That's my hangup. Not theirs. Everyone's got hangups.

But some people let their hangups hang others. That's not OK.

Me? I'm a learning disabled atheist with glasses who likes to eat all sorts of food. Each of those traits makes some people uncomfortable.  (Food? Yes, some people feel uncomfortable with people eating jellyfish, for instance).

I'm a geeky nerdy guy who likes to spend a lot of time alone. Those traits make some people make uncomfortable too.

Let's get uncomfortable.

Remember "Revenge of the Nerds"? It wasn't a gem of film making, but it had one good line:

There's a lot more of us than there are of them

Add up all the people who make someone else uncomfortable. There's a lot of us. There's a lot more of us than there are of them.

Let's get uncomfortable.
Let's make a big coalition.
Let's Act Up.

Together.

Because silence = death. For all of us.

plf515 :: Let's get uncomfortable
Poll
How do YOU make people uncomfortable?
LGBT or related issues
Disability of some sort
Unusual religious beliefs (or lack thereof)
Clothing choice (or lack thereof)
Body alterations, piercings, tatoos etc.
Music choices
Food choices
Other (say in a comment)

Results

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Ten things make me uncomfortable... (2.00 / 23)
...and BTW I've always loved Denise's sig, and this is just the best diary topic ever.

1. Australians - sorry Rupert
2. Harry Potter and Dr Who - sorry world
3. Barbecues - see 1 above
5. Innumeracy
5a. Smart ass limeys
6. Leftists who use liberal values to bully other people
7. Cat rescuers
7a. Cat rescuers who've failed to join the Moose
8. Wurzels. These are evil faux Woozles. And had their own spelling mistake/pop band in the UK for years
9. Numbered lists
Unnumbered lists
10. Decimalists who always think in tens. Why not in 12s, like the Babylonians?

The p***artist formerly known as 'Brit'


My oh my oh! (2.00 / 19)
1 2 3 5 .... then 5a, but also 7a and one unnumbered item (for unnumbered lists!)  And so quickly posted!

Then there are a total of 12 items in your 10 item list... but didn't the Babylonians use base 60 (that is, sexagesimally?)  

"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter


[ Parent ]
sexagesimally? (2.00 / 11)
Just noticed the dirtiest most orgasmic word ever written on the Moose

I challenge anyone to better this

sexagesimal kudos

The p***artist formerly known as 'Brit'


[ Parent ]
I like you n/t (2.00 / 7)


"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter

[ Parent ]
Well, it's not especially orgasmic but (2.00 / 5)
it does seem to have a curious sexual connotation that is absolutely unavoidable...

And you say that BBQ is awkward (and I would be inclined to agree with you -- though not the meat, the whole thing, especially if involving microbrews); this may exceed the uncomfortableness of BBQ entirely, however, and certainly can be only credited the British, kind Sir.

Maybe it's anything which involves mastication? Baddum-bum.

Three cheers for sexagesimal!


[ Parent ]
Hahahahaha! (2.00 / 14)
Except for #6, which I nod my head in agreement with very seriously.

Shake it like a Polaroid picture.

[ Parent ]
you wisely left tattoos of your list this time (2.00 / 17)
...but, BBQ?

srsly?  get off the blog.

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
I learned that tatts can have a use (2.00 / 17)
...for distracting recidivists and bonekickers. But barbecues? Salmonella wrapped in carbon? Not even toxic enough for a proper Darwin Award

I'm staying in teh blogs. And you're gonna have to tweet or Facebook x100 little fogettes to get me off

/smooches

The p***artist formerly known as 'Brit'


[ Parent ]
Real barbecue is not wrapped in carbon (2.00 / 16)
it's smoked, slowly, over wood, for many many hours.  

"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter

[ Parent ]
I've been spoilt by bad Brit barbecues (2.00 / 17)


The p***artist formerly known as 'Brit'

[ Parent ]
Well, the best are not here in NYC either (2.00 / 14)
but we do have some decent ones.


"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter

[ Parent ]
Well, with what due respect can be apportioned to a people who boil meat, (2.00 / 15)
you may never have had barbecue.

Here in the South is is a noun. "Barbecue" is a meal of meat cocked until it falls into fibers and smothered in sauce. Many of the best eateries are shabby little barbecue joints with styrofaoms plates and lots of sweet team.

I love a steak seared on both sides over a blast furnace of white-hot coals, Donna likes hers more well done. My neighbor in Utah would BBQ steaks for hours over low heat, ladling on sauces along the way (the only well-done steaks I've really enjoyed.

Being outside cooking meat over heat (not gas, wood) - or better yet, having a beer watching and smelling someone else do it - is a holistic experience.

BBQ is more than food, it is a ritual.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
"it is" (2.00 / 13)
"sweet tea"

Holy not paying attention, batman...

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
Ah gah! I cannot gag down sweet tea. I can however (2.00 / 14)
totally snarf me some Carolina style barbecue.  ::hungry now::

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
I am with you. I do not like sweet drinks (2.00 / 6)
but I like Carolina style, Kansas City style, Texas style and all the other styles of real barbecue.  

"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter

[ Parent ]
interesting that you use spoilt (2.00 / 8)
as in ruined,or turned off, judging from your prior comments?

Here, it has a rather different connotation and it means something like I've had the best, that anything else pales by comparison. I could say I hate store-bought tomatoes; I've been spoiled by eating homegrown tomatoes all my life.  


[ Parent ]
i literally (#biden) cannot wait (2.00 / 18)
...to get some of my wife's bbq in front of you.  once you've taken your first weary bite, you devour it like a ravenous wild beast, along with the plate and untensils.  

for dessert:  your words.

you're gonna try to decline proudmama's bbq?

Photobucket

good luck, chap.

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
I give in - and tatt me up while you're at it (2.00 / 17)


The p***artist formerly known as 'Brit'

[ Parent ]
atta boy! (2.00 / 16)


Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
now 'bout that pick up. (2.00 / 15)
is that garden art or is it a workmobile?

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


[ Parent ]
art, i suspect (2.00 / 15)
this was for a halloween shoot she id, on-location.  i wasn't there (babysitting the kids).  it could be in working order, but i doubt it.

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
i was just curious, fogiv. (2.00 / 16)
i'm a big fan of old pick ups,
we have one now that's being restored.
it's living on our family farm in S. Indiana.

 photo thefarm020.jpg

there's a big, romantic backstory to that truck.
i wrote a diary for my wife on our 10th ann. over at the Kos.

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


[ Parent ]
nice. i like old rides myself. (2.00 / 12)
is that a '78?

i've got a '65 chevelle el camino stored at my folks place (right next to my brother's '69 GTO).  my cousin had '56 ford pick-up, and my aunt and uncle had a 55 ford panel truck.  the cherry is my dad's '59 porsche 356 covertible 'd' speedster.

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
dude, now yer talkin' my language! (2.00 / 13)
good guess, it's a '79. bought it from an Iowan farmer who ordered it new as a flatbed, to use on his farm.

i've always wanted an el camino, very cool design. my dream car is sittin' in our toybox garage. it's a '70 chevelle ss, sleeper, with 3 on the tree. bench seats, triple red interior. oh yeah and a purrin' 396.
my BIL and i are assembling parts for a resto.

'the cherry is my dad's '59 porsche 356 covertible 'd' speedster.' yyuuum.

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


[ Parent ]
w00t (2.00 / 13)
for that '70, i'm sure you know about Original Parts Group, but just in case: http://www.opgi.com/

when we restored my camino, OPG was the only place I could find some stuff.

the speedster is teh sweetness.  the d's are really rare.  when we first got it, it was pretty much all in boxes (and mos of the parts in the boxes for for other cars). more on the 'd':

The successor to the famed Porsche Speedster, the Convertible D model run was limited to 1,331* cars built between August 1958 and September 1959. Possibly less than half remain.

http://convertibledregistry.com/

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
fogiv, i've drooled over the 'TUB' for decades. (2.00 / 12)
IMHO, it is one of the most beautiful cars ever designed.
so your dad bought from someone who couldn't finish the restoration?
what color is it?

my BIL has a good friend who owns a big restoration shop in Indiana. we have the connections, it's the moolah that's the issue. it always is. we did score 4 original Rallye wheels a few weeks ago though.  

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


[ Parent ]
the tub was my uncle's (a porsche fanatic) (2.00 / 11)
he bought the frame, body, and the boxes from an old guy in oakland for $1500.  when my uncle passed away (far too young) the car came to my dad and grandfather, who set to restoring it in his honor.  the car is black now (like 30 coats!), but we've determined it was originally pearl white.  sometime after the orignal purchase, it was customized for racing (regular bumpers replaced with pushes, nerf bars, etc.).  right now the car is kind of a mix between it's first two incarnations: off the line and 60s mod racer.  we can't decide if we want to take it back to white, and restore it to original, or keep it racy.

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
Everyone adores my tattoos, particularly me (2.00 / 4)
I've got a goodly lot. Moreover, they're prominently placed and impossible to ignore. This was not an accident.

I have fun with my sense of discomfort, personally.

What makes me uncomfortable? It's probably easier to explain what makes me disconcerting... my utter ease in any and all situations is disconcerting to some, and that I myself am relatively unflappable.

What makes me uncomfortable? Suburban America, mainly. Women walking their dogs in sweat pants at 11 am, making small talk about their kids or their husbands' jobs. This is a bit of an epidemic in my neighborhood and, I am always polite, but usually am poor at responding appropriately and often manage to utter some ridiculous non sequitur which vaguely passes as polite before running inside again. Foodies. Foodies make me profoundly uncomfortable. I love food, of course, but I cannot grasp the concept of eros being related to anything that's been deep fried, comes from the sea, involves bacon, or is really served in a public space. Moreover, undue conversation about meals spoken about with any caricature of a New Yorker article waiting to be written make me uncomfortable. I will exempt ripe, fresh fruit (discounting apples or pears) which simply defy the conspicuous consumption which pertains to food. I would prefer people simply not think of eating when they think of me. Teetotalers and people who are absolutist about smoking make me uncomfortable as well. Self-help books in general make me uncomfortable. Purists of any sort, and absolutely anyone who talks at length about bodily processes and/or bodily purification make me so uncomfortable that I tend to over-engage them in conversation as a defense mechanism. Oh, and the La Leche League. Also, anything involving Mary Kay, candle parties, pleasure parties, or selling stuff at suburban homes across America while feeling vaguely naughty about it. This is a source of discomfort for me because again, I would designated this as not only epidemic but also as pandemic outright.

Golfers.
All inclusive resorts in Third World Destinations.
Cruise ships.  


[ Parent ]
Also, a really big one that makes me uncomfortable (2.00 / 4)
are two greetings which don't mean what they mean at all:

1.) "We should have coffee sometime" as a conversation closer which means "Good-bye, I hope to not run into you again for as long as possible"

And

2.) "How are you doing?" asked by any person behind a counter while I'm making a purchase. They don't do this to you in Paris. Here, I am often tempted, but never do, to respond with things like, "I'd be better if I wasn't menstruating for the past six days, and also, I've been up since three am since my husband snores in the mornings, you?"

Nonetheless, I'm incorrigibly polite on the outside. Demure even. Inside, not so much.  


[ Parent ]
I make other people uncomfortable just by showing up (2.00 / 17)
and asking pointed questions. I have high expectations for total honesty in my friendships. I don't tolerate bullsh*t. I believe that marriage and friendship demand that we all push one another to get outside our comfort zones and become better people. Every day.

When I met my husband, I told him "I'm not here to shelter you from the storm. I am the storm."

Maybe I should use that as my new sig line ;-)  

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.


-- Oscar Wilde


Reminds me of the saying (2.00 / 17)
"be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil says oh crap, she's up".

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
Ah yes, the pointed question (2.00 / 19)
I am a real pain in the ass with those pointed questions.

When I was 5 or so, I knew a woman who said she believed in corporal punishment. I asked her if she wanted to teach her kids that people who are strong can make people who are weak do whatever they want.  

I had a class in college with Irving Kristol. He said that forcing kids to do chores taught them "personal responsibility". I asked if what it really taught was "other responsibility" since the kids would be doing something because of what someone else wanted.

Yeah, I am a PITA.

To the left, too, sometimes.


"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter


[ Parent ]
Ah yes, the pointed question (2.00 / 11)
I am a real pain in the ass with those pointed questions.

When I was 5 or so, I knew a woman who said she believed in corporal punishment. I asked her if she wanted to teach her kids that people who are strong can make people who are weak do whatever they want.  

I had a class in college with Irving Kristol. He said that forcing kids to do chores taught them "personal responsibility". I asked if what it really taught was "other responsibility" since the kids would be doing something because of what someone else wanted.

Yeah, I am a PITA.

To the left, too, sometimes.


"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter


[ Parent ]
hhmm, let's see.... (2.00 / 16)
i'm really comfortable around kids and i'm really comfortable around old folks. i guess it's all the folks inbetween. especially those with exceptionally uber bad hygiene, they get a dirty look. ;-[

other than that, i'm ok. right?

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


oh no (2.00 / 10)
dear o, can it be, I've finally found a thing we disagree on.

I'm comfortable with old folks & middle aged folks & folks about 25 and older.  And babies.  But toddlers through the early 20s?  No thank you.  (This is why I'm not a parent, in part).

Actually, while we're at it, pregnant women make me uncomfortable.  I get the heebie jeebies.  


[ Parent ]
well that does it Avilyn, (2.00 / 10)
i'm callin' off the wedding! ;-}

'pregnant women make me uncomfortable', yeah i understand that totally. heck, nost of the time, they're uncomfortable. it took me months to get used to my ex wife's pregnancy, but then i grew to love the mommybody.

haha, heebie jeebies. haven't heard that term in a while.
is that like getting the 'Willies'?

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


[ Parent ]
LOL! (2.00 / 4)
I've been known to say "Willies" a time or two as well, yes.  I attribute it to all the time I spent with my grandparents as a kid.  :-)


[ Parent ]
Adolescence is a form of mental illness (2.00 / 3)
For Republicans, it's permanent.  

"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter

[ Parent ]
i have been known to bring my (2.00 / 16)
halliburton case with autopsy tools in it, set it on a table, open it, and ask, "okay, where's the dead guy you called about?"

Does the morgue wagon come with the job?

When I was a kid, sometimes, as a prank (2.00 / 15)
I answered the phone:

"Flom's morgue! You kill 'em, we chill 'em"


"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter


[ Parent ]
sometime i'll give you my cell # (2.00 / 15)
wait for the voicemail greeting ...

after people hear it, they don't leave messages.

Does the morgue wagon come with the job?


[ Parent ]
if i feel my case would be too cumberson (2.00 / 13)
i just put a scalpel (with blade guard) in my purse and then take it out as though it were a pen.  people tend to back away from me a lot.  i can't imagine why.

Does the morgue wagon come with the job?

[ Parent ]
when a jehovah's witness or mormon (2.00 / 11)
comes to the door and i deign to answer it i usually carry a bone saw in one hand and caress it lovingly as soon as they start their spiel.  not many come to my door anymore.

Does the morgue wagon come with the job?

They don't come to our house - we have a huge (2.00 / 13)
cauldron (caldero) in the driveway - filled with oddities and topped with a skull :) (not human)
heh.

"If you're in a coalition and you're comfortable, you know it's not a broad enough coalition"

Bernice Johnson Reagon


[ Parent ]
We have a tombstone in our front entry plant (2.00 / 3)
I found it on the sidewalk nearby the cemetery. It's very old. From the mid 1800's. So figuring it would needed a home and would be stolen, I brought it in and put it in the front entryway plant (a large plant about 9 feet high).

This often does wonders for Jehovah's Witnesses, who I tend to talk the ears off of because I like the funny illustrations in their books, so I try to get them to give me as many of these as possible and had a huge collection of artwork at one point; I still have a fair amount of it. It's so cheesy that I sort of love it. But what a ruse!

Your caldero sounds gorgeous.  


[ Parent ]
my tattoos scar people sometimes. (2.00 / 14)
i'll post part of a comment i made here about something else:

...about a year ago, a colleague and I had some fieldwork out near some backwater town in a relatively remote part of central California. at the end of a long hot day, we stopped off at a mini-mart/gas station thing to grab something fresh/cool to drink on the drive back to HQ.  anyway, my colleague is fueling up out rig, and I head in for a couple of icy fountain drinks. anyway, there's a youngish (maybe mid 20s) white dude behind the register, and an older lady milling about the counter. There's nobody else in the place. I locate the soda contraption and start filling the cups with ice and soft drinks when I sense someone looking at me. Scanning over, I see the woman (prolly in her late 50s/early 60s?) eyeballing me rather intensely, and notice that the young guy is saying something to her under her breath, and he looks uncomfortable. Takes about 3 seconds for me to piece together that she's likely the establishent's owner, and he's an employee (maybe her grandson or something). Anyway, I take the drinks up the the counter, set them down, and say that "I'm going to grab a snack or something too". As I approached, the lady is just looking me up and down, with this really sour face on, and I'm thinking that maybe I've wandered into the middle of some unpleasant conversation they were having or something....I dunno, whatever, right?

Anyway, I start walking down the few aisles hunting for a Cliff Bar or what-have-you, and the woman is tailing me -- and I mean right on my ass. All with this 'look' on her face. I'm thinking, what the hell? The store is really small, and you could easily see and watch anyone from anywhere inside. It dawns on me that she probably thinks I'm going to steal something. Like I'm a shoplifter or whatever. So yeah, I'm now officially offended.

So I turn to her, and say, "Excuse me, is there something you need from me?" She's still sporting the sour puss, but it's now glazed over with a touch of fear. Her lip was actually trembling. She does not make eye contact with me, but I can see her eyes tracing the tatoos along my arms--up down, up, down, up down. It's the tats, right? I must be a criminal. A low-life. Not to be trusted because of my appearance. So yeah, I'm now officially pissed off. Flustered somewhat, I abandon the snack idea and brush past her toward the counter to pay for the damned drinks. As I do, the look on the young clerk's face expresses clear discomfort, but nothing like hers. His was obviously reflecting shame and embarrassment, and some relief as I greeted him cordially and bounced before I made a scene of confronting this lady.

By the time I get back in the rig, I'm steaming mad. How dare she judge me? For what? My appearance? I'm ranting about it to my coworker, who's gallantly trying to calm me down with a light-hearted joke:

Maybe she didn't like the color scheme?

...and right then, it hits me like the proverbial ton of bricks. This hag judged me on the colors of my skin. A little reminder of my white priveledge. What I had just felt was 0.000000000000000000000012% of what people of color feel in this country EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THEIR LIVES. I'm a fucking grown man. Imagine how that kind of treatment would feel if you're a 12 year old hispanic boy, or a Sikh, or a 7 year old black girl?

http://www.motleymoose.com/sho...

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


subject: scare, not scar (2.00 / 11)
the scars are mine.  :)

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
as an ME we consider tatts (2.00 / 14)
identifying marks or scars.  i see you've identified yours as a scar too.  (yeah, i'm being a smartass.  i'll say i'm sorry in advance, i'm sleep deprived today).  i find tattoos interesting myself. i don't have one, but there's lots of them out there that i've thought about.  

i do tease my baby sister about her big tattoo, the one on her lower back known also as a tramp stamp.  we laugh about that one a lot.

i did go a little ballistic when my kid came home from college with one.  you can't see it, it's on his upper back, i was more worried about hepatitis than the actual tattoo, also, i wanted to know where the hell he got the cash for it ... i found out when i got his report card that semester.

Does the morgue wagon come with the job?


[ Parent ]
I don't get the whole impulse to have tatoos (2.00 / 12)
but they don't bother me on other people.

Hey, it's not MY body.


"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter


[ Parent ]
Everyone's reasons are different (2.00 / 4)
and some want to of course be trendy or rebellious or whatnot. Others want to express themselves.

I went to French Polynesia and everyone had tattoos. It was so striking on these people, which each telling a story of some sort, and so much contrast between soft faces and their inkiness. I remember going through airport security on one island where a shirtless man with tattoos everywhere was our guy.

I like them for all sorts of reasons. I like them when they're unexpected. I like that they turn bodies into texts. I like that they question mortality with the whole rhetoric of "It lasts forever." No it doesn't. Humans don't last forever. I like that they can make you appreciate some part of your body you are otherwise at odds with.

Not all tattoos are enticing to me. I don't like they whole, "Look at me, I'm a rebel!" thing although I can appreciate a certain flippancy that goes into getting one sometimes.


[ Parent ]
i like what you've said here. wise. (2.00 / 1)
Photobucket

Earth is the best vacation place for advanced clowns. --Gary Busey
 


[ Parent ]
nevermind about my cell # (2.00 / 11)
hear my VM greeting here:

http://www.youmail.com/communi...

Does the morgue wagon come with the job?


Organized religion makes me uncomfortable and I'm a (2.00 / 14)
choir singin' Methodist.  I'm struggling with it, so much of it is a judgmental business and a money makin' enterprise.  If I ever figure out my feelings to where I'm comfortable I'll be really glad.  It also makes me uncomfortable that I'm not really working that hard at it.

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

Well, I'm an atheist (2.00 / 12)
but I remember my rabbi fondly.

Of course, you might say that our congregation was disorganized religion.....

OTOH, he told stores 45 years ago that I still remember. That's good teaching, that is.  

"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter


[ Parent ]
We had a preacher who was a fantastic singer, story teller and (2.00 / 12)
person.  He drove the powers that be nuts because he refused to beg for money from the pulpit.  I still miss him, he was incredible.  I'm not an atheist but respect those who are and can understand it.  I think I'm more of an anti organized religionist who likes to sing in the choir because I have affiliation needs, love music, love to sing and am a sucker for the majesty of the organ.

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
I'm uncomfortable (2.00 / 16)
with friends who have small children who don't know how to behave when they are brought to visit.

I'm uncomfortable with vegans who insist on lecturing me, and making faces while I cook pork chops.

"If you're in a coalition and you're comfortable, you know it's not a broad enough coalition"

Bernice Johnson Reagon


Oh squee, pork chops! Between talk of barbecue and (2.00 / 14)
pork chops I'm drooling!

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
I don't understand why people (1.85 / 13)
judge other people's food like that. It's so personal.

[ Parent ]
anyone invited to your home for a meal (2.00 / 14)
vegan or whatever else their food predilections is just plain rude to do that.  they wouldn't be invited back to my home.  it's not like i'd go to their home for a meal and complain or make faces.  that's self-centered and highly unmannerly.  my aunt would have lectured me to hell and back if i had ever done that growing up ergo, i wouldn't do it as an adult.  

whatever happened to refined, educated manners?  that burns me up too.

Does the morgue wagon come with the job?


[ Parent ]
denise, most vegans and i was 1 for a while, (2.00 / 14)
are just cranky 'cause they're hungry all the time. :-)

i rarely told anyone i was a vegan or a veg. for 25 years.
i'd rather we all enjoy our food than debate it. where's the fun in that?  

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


[ Parent ]
We have a very dear friend, despite just that. (2.00 / 11)
everything is a judgement. Donna and the kids spent a week with her up in BC last summer and Donna had to leave and drive around for a few hours and talk to me on the phone so she wouldn't kill her.

Vegan, organic, home-schooling, anti-modern, ... Every cliche. Her kids when very young were terrors (but kids can survive worse than that and are growing up fine). She once tried to chew me out for not running and finding her when her daughter threw a fit when they were staying with us at the lodge (afraid that it would damage her karma or something :~).

Yet we still love her. I pick on her openly for it all and she takes it well. But after too much exposure I just have to walk away.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
Me too, and I tend to be vegan or vegetarian (2.00 / 3)
but I never really talk about it other than in terms of environmental impact on political blogs. I will cook anything but red meat for company and would never comment on someone's food choices; it's distasteful. My husband eats red meat. I think it's strange (because I was raised as a vegetarian, and I have never eaten red meat at all) but don't say anything. I wonder if he notices! I think it's very strange! But I don't say anything because how rude would that be?

Preachy vegans drive me up the wall. I have a relative who is like this and will get on my case if I decide to eat fish, which I sometimes do.


[ Parent ]
I'm uncomfortable around (2.00 / 14)
racists and anti-semites. Also around armed tea-party types.

Most other people don't faze me. I've done a lot of canvassing, lived in foreign countries, etc. Not a lot makes me uncomfortable.


Best comeback EVER (2.00 / 6)
Moses Montefiore was at a dinner when someone declared:

I've just returned from Japan. Marvelous country. They have no Jews and they have no pigs

Montefiore turns to him and says


We should go there together, sir, so they will have one of each


"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter

[ Parent ]
as for small children behaving badly (2.00 / 9)
i've been known to sit them down and scare the beejeezus out of them by telling them that i could, if i liked, remove their brains and no one would ever know.  okay, i haven't done that exactly, but, in my dotage i now will!

Does the morgue wagon come with the job?

I'm uncomfortable around people who talk with food in their (2.00 / 12)
mouth.  

Only in the darkness can you see the stars - Martin Luther King, Jr

Thorry, I thought you thaid... (2.00 / 11)
(oopth, I think I jutht thpit on you... ;~)

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

[ Parent ]
Thupid thippter, thop it! (2.00 / 11)


"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
Chief thing that makes me uncomfortable... (2.00 / 12)
people who gossip. I hate that. I don't like to talk about other people or their issues unless it's an open conversation from the get go. I have learned how to change the subject and when I can't do that..I throw in a lot of "oh my", "goodness I'm sorry to hear that"...until the would be gossip monger gets bored and moves along. I'd love throw down some righteous indignation, but that would only cause more drama in the long run. Eh, small towns. :o/

I'm not comfortable around people who casually use racial smears or attach "tard" to various words. I'm not comfortable with religious folks who think it's their mission in life to get me Christ, in their church, on their terms--even when I tell them I have a church home I'm happy with thank you very much.

I make people uncomfortable because I am totally inept at convening sympathy or support without coming off as insincere. I try hard to find the right words, but I suck at it end of story.

I was told once I creeped out a lady at a baby shower because I didn't say much and was content to just watch and listen. I'm actually very shy and soft spoken. Which is weird given I have no problem getting up in front of a room full of people and talking about disability rights and issues--but in simple social settings, I'm a wallflower extraordinaire and some folks find it a little unnerving.  

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle"...."We make a Living by what we get...We make a Life by what we give."  


Let's see (2.00 / 11)
I used to make people uncomfortable over my spiritual path, when I identified as Pagan.  The site of a pentacle can apparently inspire terror in some people.

I love country music.  Lots of people can't stand it.  But it has such a great story-telling aspect.  (I also like classical, metal, rock, folk, and oldies).

It would probably make people uncomfortable if they knew I was Bi, but since I'm in a hetero marriage and I'm mostly in the closet, it hasn't been an issue.

As far as making me uncomfortable, aside from kids/young adults and pregnant women (as mentioned in my comment above), real guns make me VERY uncomfortable.  Bigoted "jokes" of any sort make me uncomfortable.  Friends fighting with friends makes me uncomfortable.  Cities and large crowds of people make me uncomfortable (almost had a full blown panic attack the first time I went to Times Square). Hmm.  There was something else I thought about mentioning, but I can't think of it now.   Oh well.


Oh I remember! (2.00 / 8)
Social networking stuff makes me uncomfortable. Facebook, Twitter, etc.  I like my privacy too much.

[ Parent ]
I am the Comfort King. (2.00 / 13)
My favorite question when interviewing potential hirees is:

"When people are looking for security solutions, what is their primary goal?"

There is a one-word answer: "Comfort". Some folks get this exactly right, others try to impress me with their knowledge.

Rather than shocking into discomfort I prefer helping people grow their comfort margins. When they are frightened they tend to act rashly, and that isn't productive. For better or worse it is my role in life to try to bring people down from their jangling and help them find a way to become comfortable.

When I want to get people to move, I try to incrementally help them expand their comfort zones. Connect dots that they can feel comfortable with, until they find that they have enclosed an area they may have thought they could not be comfortable with.

When people get too uncomfortable they retreat, slamming doors and drowning out the scary sounds outside. Too often we try to move people by shocking them ("if they heard THIS, that would shake them up!!").

As Terry Pratchett says:

It was a puzzle why things were always dragged kicking and screaming. No one ever seemed to want to, for example, lead them gently by the hand.


John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

Chris, could I ask you a question? All kidding aside, I would (2.00 / 10)
appreciate your input.  
You mentioned potential hirees.  My husband Stan (Persiflage) and I are trying to help someone.  We've never met her, she came to our attention online.  We've communicated with her and are sending her money monthly.  She is an enormously talented writer but has fallen into unemployment like so many.
We're not judgmental and want her to find work and thrive.  Are there things we should ask?  Things to bring up to help her?  She is a good person, truly, and seems so lost now.  We can't stand her power being off, herself hungry, her beloved pets hungry.  Others are helping as well.
Are we missing a way to help further?
I'd truly appreciate your input.  I worry about her and her pets who she loves so much.  If she lost them it would break her.
Thanks in advance,
Nan

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
Hi Nan, (2.00 / 9)
That's a tough one.

I have to bring up the real possibility that she is not what she looks like, as hard as that may be to consider. I would suggest that you want to make sure you know her as more than text, if she needs help and you want to help her make sure you talk with her live. Better yet, talk with her on Skype with video on, see her face and get to know her intimately. Get to know people who are around her physically, and can both verify the facts as well as provide more than just remote support.

Unfortunately, in my work I see a lot of convincing fraud targeted at exactly people like yourselves.

Assuming she is being honest, I may not be the right person to ask. Many Moose work with people in trouble and have better advice on how to help them move away from it than I do.

You're a good egg, Nan. I hope you are right that she is someone in need and that you are helping her. If not, don't lose faith in humanity. Most people really are what they seem to be.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
Thank you Chris, much food for thought. We are certain through (2.00 / 7)
impeccable sources that she is legit as is her need.  We're trying to help without getting intrusive, if that makes sense.

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
nannyboz, one thing I would suggest (2.00 / 8)
is paying this woman's bills rather than giving her the money. My brother and his wife gave her parents a lot of money, most of which they gambled away at a nearby casino. When they stopped giving them money and asked for the bills that needed paying, there was anger and resentment ("you're treating us like children!"), but at least after that, they knew where the money was going.

In your situation with this writer, you could arrange with her electric, phone, or gas companies to bill you directly, or you could purchase a gift card for her local grocery store or pet store.

Someone over at the Place That Shall Not Be Named also suggested a web site where freelance writers could find assignments. I don't remember the specifics, but I'm sure some research might lead you to it.  

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.


-- Oscar Wilde


[ Parent ]
Thank you cc, gonna talk that over with my hubby! (2.00 / 7)


"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
That might have been ME! (2.00 / 2)
There are a few online writing sites:

Yahoo Voices and Demand Studio are the two I am most familiar with. Yahoo! lets anyone submit; you can ask for payment for the article itself, you also get paid per view of your article. To make any real money here, you'd have to write a lot and write on topics that draw viewers, and be good at writing for the web.  If you have expertise in a topic they like, you can qualify for more payments

Demand Studios is looking for specific skills and you have to apply and be accepted, but, if you are, it is possible to make a bit more, I think.

There is also Squidoo and several others.  

"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter


[ Parent ]
People who are "just kidding" drive me crazy (2.00 / 12)
Those folks who say and do egregious things that evoke reactions of shock, after which they assure me that they were "just kidding". As far as I'm concerned, they're testing my limits, and I am glad to help them find them, pronto.


I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.


-- Oscar Wilde


How come people say "I don't want to be rude ..." (2.00 / 6)
and then keep talking?

If you don't want to be rude, don't be rude.

I am often rude, but usually I know it.  

"Most people worry about their own bellies and other people's souls when we all ought to worry about our own souls and others' bellies" Israel Salanter


[ Parent ]
Another great Pratchett quote (2.00 / 3)
that I don't have handy, about folks who say "not to offend" rather than not being offensive in the first place.

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."

[ Parent ]
apparently I make people uncomfortable (2.00 / 10)
when I don't ask questions. I could be talking to my doctor, an employer, whatever, and after they explain something, then  ask if I have any questions and I say no, they look at me askance, and say you sure? Yes, I'm sure, mentally thinking that if I had questions, I would ask away. Eyeroll.  

One of my.... (2.00 / 11)
One of my biggest phobias is footed pyjamas. Not all though sizes though. Anything larger than for a two year old gives me the heebiejeebies. Weird i know. Another pet peeve is arrogance. Such a turn off. I'm also slightly prudish. Well, more private ;)  

Politics, institutionalized racism, sexism, actually any ism.

"I spend my days and nights pondering the meaning of life, the state of the universe, and the Home Shopping Network." -- Donald Roller Wilson


like these? (2.00 / 9)

;~)

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
Heh. (2.00 / 8)
I didn't even hit play and I think I know what's coming. My mans favourite movie. I like it, pjs notwithstanding.

"I spend my days and nights pondering the meaning of life, the state of the universe, and the Home Shopping Network." -- Donald Roller Wilson

[ Parent ]
ditto on the arrogance (2.00 / 9)
I get satisfaction from seeing then arrogant people get their comeuppance.

[ Parent ]
There are not many people that I am uncomfortable around... (2.00 / 7)
I am a 'people person'...and tend to read folks pretty well. I am comfortable in other cultures, unknown territories, and in places that make many others uncomfortable.

What causes me discomfort more often than not...is irrational/illogical persons. People who do not react to a given situation in a predictable manner (and that is with me taking into account a 'range of normal unpredictable behavior'). Illogical reactions/actions/thoughts/beliefs throw me off balance. Again, I am not talking about run of the mill 'unpredictable', I am talking 'not normal human response' unpredictable.

Sadly, my experience has been that is mostly the untreated mentally ill. I lived on and off the streets for many years so I have encountered many 'lost souls'. I am a hyper-aware individual so when people are 'off' it puts me on edge.

Dunno if that makes sense or not. It is kind of ironic, though, because 'I' am pretty unpredictable by nature (but, within the realm of 'normal human response'...usually../grin).

OH!

And Furries!

Those people make me hella uncomfortable.

(though, the argument could be made that they fall into my Primary cause of discomfort)

/grin

Photobucket


Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than (2.00 / 4)
obvious pick-up attempts. God! Oh God! I've suffered a lot of these in my life, and I can earnestly say that not one has ever worked. Not once. I don't care if you have a face like Valentino; any statement functioning as a pick-up line will not have any desired impact whatsoever.

Fortunately, I've been married for a while now.

But sincerely, I will talk to anyone. I will initiate conversation if I'm interested. If I'm truly interested, I would say, "You seem fascinating. Are you busy?" I'm blunt. Not coarse. Just blunt. Why sugar-coat this?

The pick-up line is reserved for narcissistic cowards who fear rejection and instead of saying, "I really like you," or whatever, say some god-awful thing like, "You have the prettiest eyes." Oh that's not passive aggressive! My response would be, "Did you notice one was a bit wonky?" and I'd toss the earnest lad's number.

One can be both direct without being an utter dolt about it.

Also, my favorite pick-ups are the ones which make no attempts at all to do so and simply result in something lovely and real, like a walk along dewy railway tracks sipping bourbon.

Pick-up lines, even the most finely crafted ones, will earnestly kill any chance of ever being with even the most attractive creature on earth. Everyone who uses pick up lines winds up sounding like Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever to me, period. Instant... gag reflex.


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