Nurse Kelley Sez: The end of an era for me

by: Nurse Kelley

Sun Jan 27, 2013 at 17:01:20 PM EST



(This is a cross-post of my final diary as moderator of KosAbility)

I wrote the kick-off diary for this group three years ago next month, and I have been the Sunday moderator almost every week since.  

Many of us old-timers who considered KosAbility to be a labor of  love have moved on. CJ (ulookarmless) passed away. Father John-Mark (jgilhousen) has a new ministry. Scottie Thomaston (formerly indiemcemopants) has a full-time job. Homogenius has a job and a busy life. Peter (plf515) is still an occasional contributor and remains my rock, but his business is growing. Me? I'm tired. Three years is a long time to give up every Sunday afternoon.

We've done great work with this group. Before KosAbility, you didn't see people getting donuts for comments like "retard" or "take your meds". We earned a deserved place on the Daily Kos masthead, one of only five groups named as "Featured Groups".  Almost 1200 diaries bear the KosAbility tag, and most of our scheduled diaries have been on the site's Recommended List. A lot to be proud of; a great tradition for someone to carry forward.

That someone is my friend postmodernista. I was about to post a diary last week looking for a volunteer when Jill called me out of the blue and, when I told her what I was doing, she offered to take my place. It was as if the universe were handing me a gift! We're both here today, me to say goodbye and Jill to say hello to those who don't know her. I'll let her have the space below the squiggle to introduce herself.

I want to thank everyone in the community for helping make KosAbility such a success - our writers, our commenters, our moderators, and our board. You guys are the best of the best. ♥

Nurse Kelley :: Nurse Kelley Sez: The end of an era for me
Hai there, good folks and people! This is Jill/postmodernista- I hope that tonight's get-together finds you all well, or at least with minimal misery. I also hope you'll be kind, 'cause I'm just a tiny bit nervous. Kelley said to introduce myself, and I'll try not to natter - here goes:

I'm a 5th generation native Texan currently in a wee-bitty town right in the smack-dab middle; we've come a long way toward urban development since I moved here the first time- we now have 2 ATM machines and 2 stoplights! I've also lived in some big places around the state, and I have to say that this little life goes a long way toward helping me be peaceful.

I've been a good child, a bad one, a college student, one of the working poor, a mother, caretaker, a divorcee, abused in a couple of relationships, a paramedic and instructor, housewife, college administrator and teacher, grad student, unemployed, out of my mind with bipolar disorder and PTSD, and hopefully now mentally stable and learning my new future. That would include being happy with my still relatively new husband of 6 years (specifically not driving him crazy), learning a new 'job' that really isn't one in the form of an antique store that we've established here with the assistance of other family that I never was allowed to really know. I've been known to weep at injustice or rant like Julia Sugarbaker, wish on a star, or drive to the beach at midnight just to stick my toes in the sand and then come back. Impulsive, you know - I'm really trying to work on that.

I've struggled with how to introduce myself elegantly, and how that would be relevant to being a KosAbility moderator, and especially how to do so that leaves y'all not disappointed in the third rate substitute that now will stand in for Kelley. But writing, and seeing that list, it strikes me that many of us struggle to define ourselves, both relative to, and apart from, every aspect of our collected experiences and disabilities, and in most cases, those are multiple and evolving roles.

I've always been more interested in learning things a mile wide and an inch deep, rather than the reverse. That's what made me a good paramedic and a sorry grad student ... it just did not suit my strengths. But it occurs to me, what one gets in KosAbility is both breadth and depth, and discussions from real people that put a very human face on what may be unfamiliar territory, language and customs, and some acquaintance with that issue that hopefully will prevent us each from making an ass of ourselves the next time that particular issue and more importantly, the person who lives it, are right in front of us.

I've also struggled with this whole 'be the moderator!' thing since Kelley and I talked (Pick me! Pick me!). I've found myself prone to 'overpromise and underdeliver', and have tried in recent years to make no promises at all, lest I disappoint. But not being expected to do anything isn't really healthy either, and rather than have a panic attack and bail before I even try, I'm going to expect that this will be a good experience, that I have the skills to manage it, and that we'll all get through it together.

So, Kelley and KosAbility peeps, I look forward to this, and y'all. Fingers crossed and FSM look upon us with good favor.

Jill

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their loss is our gain! (2.00 / 50)
i know you feel a depression about it right now, but, we're here and we know how much you care and how much you gave while over there.  we also know you'll continue with us here.  we're the winners.  the other place is on life support now, it's only a matter of time before it all crashes down, they've lost the best and brightest, the MM has gained the best and brightest.  look to the future, it's looking pretty bright Kelley.

Does the morgue wagon come with the job?

This is in my tip jar, a tribute to my friend ulookarmless (2.00 / 54)


"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

Quite an accomplishment, you should be proud. (2.00 / 42)
I have some idea of the stresses and commitments involved. What you have completed is something you should be proud of, you have made a difference in the world.

Congratulations!

John Askren - "Never get into a pissing match with a skunk."


[ Parent ]
Thanks, Chris. (2.00 / 38)
That means a lot to me. Our group for the disabled attracted the people in society who need voices the most: the disabled, the elderly, the uninsured, the impoverished, and the ignored. You wouldn't believe how many members of that one group get by on less than $1,000 per month, some on less than $750.


"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
I miss him so much. I respect all that you two did,. Thanks. eom (2.00 / 24)


[ Parent ]
Take some time for yourself. (2.00 / 42)
You deserve it. ♥

Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


Thanks, Darlin. (2.00 / 39)
One week from today I'm going to be doing what old ladies are supposed to do on Sunday afternoons - napping!

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
I'm not a regular but I am quite sure (2.00 / 31)
you will find yourself pretty busy on Sunday afternoons, at least for a while. It is who you are. You care so much about the peeps for whom you began kosability. Hugs my friend.

I'm going to be doing what old ladies are supposed to do on Sunday afternoons - napping!


[ Parent ]
Sad for the losses (2.00 / 39)
But glad you knew them.

And thanks for all your work on KosAbility. I really enjoyed the series.  


The series will continue, I hope. (2.00 / 38)
I left it in good hands. There will be a huge diary in a couple of weeks that we'll need to talk about here.

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
Love ya kiddo. You've got class. Hugs! (2.00 / 38)


"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

Hugggs back, nannyboz. (2.00 / 35)
I think I'd better stay in the other diary for a while - I've HR'd at least three sweet comments over there!

See y'all in a while....

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu


[ Parent ]
Well he'll, I just accidentally unrecc'd this one and can't re-rec it! (2.00 / 30)
Don't know except I was trying to see who did rec it, must have hit unrecommend by accident.  Dang a mule!  Consider this my recommend which was there until I goofed!  :(

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
Crud, not "he'll" but "hell" which my iPad autocorrected. Argh! (2.00 / 28)


"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
Had to go dig this up.... (2.00 / 17)
 photo 531783_552002144812691_1408226931_n_zpsbe219c6f.jpg

[ Parent ]
Crud, not "he'll" but "hell" which my iPad autocorrected. Argh! (2.00 / 24)


"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
LOLLOL! You're a pistol, nannyboz! (2.00 / 27)
I love this place for many reasons, not least of which is the lack of caring about !@#$%^&ing mojo, tips, recs, donuts, and [cue Twilight Zone music] the quest for ∞.

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
Phew, I knew you'd understand! (2.00 / 23)


"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
Thanks, Kelley. I learned so much from your series. (2.00 / 38)


Congratulations and thank you for your work (2.00 / 34)
Enjoy catching your breath and helping folks from a different direction.

Thank you again.


it says a lot about a person who cares (2.00 / 33)
as deeply about leaving their 'baby' in good hands as
much as you cared when you were there, Nurse Kelley.

welcome to life postOrange.  

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


Back and Forth (2.00 / 31)
I'll probably be back and forth for a while . I have been trying to get caught up on my writing. I have a Kosability diary ready for the 3rd, a Breaking Bread for tomorrow, a Grieving Room for the 4th, a Books That Changed My Life for the 8th, and a What Are You Working On for the 10th. I can't imagine why my niece thinks I'm over extending myself. ;-)

Plus I am doing a major change to some of my art since I have a new technique to make the people and animals look more real. Plus of course my cooking. I just did a dynamite recipe for today's dinner that I'll type up and share.

Once in a while I actually get to wrap myself up in my quilt although Pixie has decided that if Merlin is going to take her chair and the matching large pootie pad she gets my quilt. Children. Sigh!


"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." Oscar Wilde


Thanks {{Kelley}} (2.00 / 28)
You do so much for so many.

Enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war.

Barack Obama 1/21/2013


Great creation, great run.. (2.00 / 29)
Look forward to more blogging from you when you feel like doing it.

You have made a difference in my life Kelley..... (2.00 / 29)
A voice when I couldn't find the words, wise and caring support when I have needed it, shared laughter and tears, and most of all a role model for strength, courage, and honesty.

I'm very happy to know you are taking good care if yourself now too.

Thanks for sharing your cursing tree!

♥ ♥ ♥


Love is the lasting legacy of our lives


princesspat! (2.00 / 21)
I need some purple flowers to plant under my cursing tree. Got any suggestions?

I love you, too. ♥

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu


[ Parent ]
Just browsed around the web on a break from work and found (2.00 / 18)
a rather fun site about flowers. It doesn't look very helpful in regard to suggestions, but I thought you might enjoy the symbolism, regardless.

http://onlineflowersguide.com/...

Re Kosability: You did so many a great service with that series, and I often passed through to read (my favorite pastime). You can be proud of helping so many, and making a difference in their lives. Now it's time to take care of YOU a little more and graze lazily in moose pastures!


Wer kämpft, kann verlieren. Wer nicht kämpft, hat schon verloren.
                       - Bertolt Brecht


[ Parent ]
In my old garden... (2.00 / 18)
...I had a lot of Mexican bush sage (Salvia leucantha). Grew like mad, and was a major magnet for hummingbirds. I don't know how it would do in your climate, but it's a very pretty plant with spiky masses of purple flowers. :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
Violas have moved into my garden.... (2.00 / 16)
They are tough an persistent, so I've got lots of little purple flowers growing everywhere!

Purple pansies are a favorite as well....love the sunny yellow centers.

Love is the lasting legacy of our lives


[ Parent ]
Here is her cursing tree!! Still there ... still curseable. (2.00 / 14)


Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
Thank you! (2.00 / 15)
I've been lurking under it for quite a while now and I'll use it well this week.

RonK's mother's 95th birthday is next Saturday, and I'm organizing the party and packing the car to celebrate the occasion. She's a survivor and a pioneer, so about 150 guests are expected.... and that's a lot of stuff!

Big parties used to be no big deal for me to do, but since BCH this is a challenge. Wish me well, and Kelly.....I'll add a hug to the tree when it's all over.

Love is the lasting legacy of our lives


[ Parent ]
Don't forget to bring some of this ... (2.00 / 14)

Isn't RonK's mother the one who had the terrible accident last year? Survivor is right!  

Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
The car accident was a year ago New Years Day.... (2.00 / 13)
She has been very focused on celebrating this birthday. After months in a rehab hospital she is now in an assisted living facility with a bright red scooter to drive.

I'm going to fill the room with roses, lots of photos, Birthday Cakes, tasty snacks, and do my best to make it be comfortable  for her. Traveling over the mountain passes in the winter is always iffy, so we'll go on Thursday just to make sure the party goods are all in place and I have time to keep the "leg up" rest times going. I'm a bit nervous about that....

Love is the lasting legacy of our lives


[ Parent ]
thanks for the series (2.00 / 29)
I've enjoyed it, too. I'm sorry I never got to do a diary about my anxiety/panic attacks that you asked me to consider a while back. It's still too personal for me and not something I really want to share with other kossacks at large. Maybe some day.

Enjoy life!


Maybe here? (2.00 / 22)
It feels safer here, maybe even safe enough to help with anxiety/panic attacks. One can dream, right?

MWAH!

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu


[ Parent ]
{{{Nurse Kelley}}} (2.00 / 28)
You built that community, and now others must step up if they truly value it. (And I believe they do.) I know that stepping back was a difficult decision but am glad that you are taking the break you so clearly need from that sort of responsibility.

FWIW, I will keep an eye on the KosAbility group.

One person can make a difference if that one person is committed to making a difference. - James Hood


Thanks, Honey. (2.00 / 22)
The comments ripped me up, especially the ones from long-time lurkers who signed in to say thanks. Who knew?

It's wonderful to see you around here - purple agrees with you. ♥

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu


[ Parent ]
Hai and hugz, dear Kelley! (2.00 / 26)
And to everyone else too....so many familiar names here! Yay!

Kelley, thank you for your great Kosability series, and thanks for inviting me here!


Ekitty! You're here! [pounce!] (2.00 / 24)
Bring your questions about teh Moose to the morning diaries. They're like pootie diaries - all help, no hassle.

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
Thanks, Kelley, I will (2.00 / 24)
Now I know where so many of the good people went! It's wonderful to see the names here.

[ Parent ]
Good for YOU! (2.00 / 24)
I know how hard it is to make decisions like this: been there done that, more than once myself. Such mixed emotions to wade through. Finally I've accepted that I just cannot afford, health wise, to subject myself to the stresses of toxic atmospheres, on or offline. I also needed to back way off a whole lot of my helping roles with others, because that too, is getting harder and harder on this ol beat up body.

It helped a lot when I could finally regard this pulling back from old roles as a well earned retirement. A chance to use what energy and stamina I have left to living life for ME, for the first time, really, in 72 years. It was pretty uncomfortable at first: like "OMG, who am I and why the hell am I still HERE?"  But that passed in time, and now I am enjoying every bit of this inner and external freedom I feel, to let go of striving for anything, and just finally learning how to "be", instead of "do". I've learned so much about myself, good things, things I like and enjoy, that I had no clue of when I was racing around on my white horse, lance in hand, trying to save the world.

Anyway, I am very happy to hear you have moved on from a job VERY well done. Time to listen to your own body, and the wiser whispers within, girl. I would hate to have to sic the Self Care Police on you, but I will if I have to!


[ Parent ]
So glad to see you here, scribe! (2.00 / 21)
This is indubitably from Kos, an occasional commenter---I tend to get crazy busy, so usually can only lurk.

Anyway ... I've read your comments for years now. And I'm thrilled I will no longer have to try and hunt you down in the minefields.

As for the rest of your comment, I still lurk a bit on Kos, but not much. It's amazing how tangled up any involvement over there will get you, and how very toxic it is.


[ Parent ]
Thanks for the kind words... (1.92 / 12)
I've had trouble finding the motivation to keep writing for some time now. Your words kindled a small spark, so thank you!

[ Parent ]
I love your writing, scribe. (2.00 / 11)
And I love you, too.

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
Ah geeze... (2.00 / 12)
..you made a tear fall out of my eye!

Love ya back!


[ Parent ]
Welcome to the purple place! You will find we are a friendly bunch (2.00 / 11)
that can disagree respectfully. Oh, and we also have pootie diaries!!!

(translatorpro at the orange place)

Wer kämpft, kann verlieren. Wer nicht kämpft, hat schon verloren.
                       - Bertolt Brecht


[ Parent ]
This may embarrass you, Kelley. But that's tough. ;-) (2.00 / 23)
To the rest of you: I want everyone to know that Kelley has helped me out personally, without prompting, at a time when I barely knew who she was other than a name on my screen. She is a treasure, and I'm grateful to think that I might be numbered among the many who she calls friends. :-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

You didn't embarrass me, Scott. (2.00 / 18)
You made me cry. In my coffee. I love you, too. :)

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
Well, dang. (2.00 / 17)
I was secretly hoping that I could embarrass you just a wee bit. Guess I'll have to try harder in future. ;-)

There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified, and new prejudices to be opposed. ~Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

[ Parent ]
You will be missed on the GOS by many, Kelley. (2.00 / 20)
Hopefully, they will ditch the orange and put on the cloak of purple for their dose of Nurse Kelley.  
It truly is their loss and our gain.

I am for the individual over government, government over big business and the environment over all. -- William O. Douglas

Quite Right Kelley (2.00 / 20)
You've helped so many people. I know you'll use this bit of new freedom to help in new ways that energize you.

Let there be light. Then let there be a cat, a cocktail, and a good book.

Thanks for the invitation (2.00 / 25)
to join your wonderful group here.  I should say, invitations, since you have asked before and I just wasn't ready for another group.  

Glad I'm here to see so many "faces" I've missed elsewhere.  I'm continuing with my GUS diaries on the other site because I have a warm connection with the group and none of us are mean spirited.

I hope I can rise to the level of discussion and contribution you have already established.

Bear with me if I hit the wrong comment button.  I have to recalibrate my brain to having the positive rec third in the list.


When you are FAILed here, it is almost always a mistake. (2.00 / 21)
Or at least that's what we tell ourselves. :)

There is some good information in the morning check-in and I think pretty soon Someone Important will show up with a few helpful hints to get started.

Welcome aboard!!

Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
Thank you, JanF! (2.00 / 17)
I read the FAQs and will reread often.  I want to spend a lot of time reading diaries and comments in order to respect all of you who have built this site.

[ Parent ]
Ha!! We didn't build this site. (2.00 / 15)
We snuck over here one day, created a ruckus and then had to have Nurse Kelley apologize for our rowdiness.

The existing meeses welcomed us into their herd. We ♥ them.

That is an excellent idea ... to read the FAQ and kick the tires ... I wish I had thought of that!  

Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
Wow! (2.00 / 5)
What you said! Seriously! Admin here has been amazing and rather tolerant of us belligerents. LOL

YO! ADMIN! You really are appreciated. :)




Come visit us at our NON political blog jellybeansofdoom.com


[ Parent ]
Greetings! So glad you followed the purple breadcrumbs to (2.00 / 21)
join the herd at the moose meadow ! Hope you like the much slower, more relaxed pace here - and believe me, you'll find yourself amongst many friends and soon-to-be friends! I love reunions, btw, and there have been more than a few lately!

(translatorpro at the place that needn't be named, switched from a handle that expresses my inclination rather than my profession)


Wer kämpft, kann verlieren. Wer nicht kämpft, hat schon verloren.
                       - Bertolt Brecht


[ Parent ]
So happy to be (2.00 / 18)
so warmly greeted.  Thank you!  

[ Parent ]
Woo-hoo! You signed up! (2.00 / 20)
The Moose just got a little classier - welcome, my friend!

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
Thank you so much for the invitation (2.00 / 18)
Happily, I am actually getting truly near to publishing my book on Kindle -- murder and mayhem.  I have a place to post an ad!!!!

I feel very welcome already.    


[ Parent ]
This is truly our new home. (2.00 / 14)
I'll give you one tiny example of why, then drop the meta:

lightbulb, who was so horribly treated on another site, joined us here and posted some diaries. A stalker on said former site signed up here to stalk in purple. Unfortunately for the stalker, lightbulb has friends here from real life - and those credentials were enough to see the stalker get banned faster than Peter can type.

We feel safe here.

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu


[ Parent ]
GEOFFIE! (2.00 / 16)
sweet!  glad to see you've crossed the border.

[ Parent ]
YEAH! This must make you EASILY the (2.00 / 16)
first in your novitiate class to "take the purple".

Welcome to the Moose!

I am for the individual over government, government over big business and the environment over all. -- William O. Douglas


[ Parent ]
You still look great!!! (2.00 / 14)
For being 712!!!

Welcome!


[ Parent ]
You still look great!!! (2.00 / 14)
For being 712!!!

Welcome!


[ Parent ]
I am a bit absent because of work but wanted to say HI! (2.00 / 14)
Welcome to purple! Hugs sweetie!

[ Parent ]
oh Sally... (2.00 / 15)
how ARE you???

[ Parent ]
Happy, calm...mellow...life is good in purple...and in reality! (2.00 / 12)
Glad to see you in purple!

Back tomorrow afternoon when I have time between clients!


[ Parent ]
Dayum! (2.00 / 5)
Nursie! have you heard from our favorite curmudgeon? I sent him an email but he sucks at checking in these days. Arrrrgghhhhhh!

Yeah yeah...for the rest of you, I'm referring to homogenius. He's the best friend anyone could ask for. Hubby and I adore the man. I miss him terribly.

I'm slowly escaping the other place. I'm so happy to see gchaucer2 and A C here. :) I won't abandon my fellow GUSsacks though.  




Come visit us at our NON political blog jellybeansofdoom.com


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