Pooties - It's All Relative

by: Khloe

Mon Feb 25, 2013 at 19:19:36 PM EST



Most folks have relatives who make them cringe. A cousin who is a rabid teabagger, or an uncle who bases his opinions of you on how much you make per year. The pooties have an aunt who they prefer to avoid. She is loud and proud and larger then life. She has become a legend throughout pootie and woozle communities for her cooking and her antics. I would like to introduce you to Aunt Bertha.

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Khloe :: Pooties - It's All Relative
Aunt Bertha has many habits the pooties find disturbing.
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The minutes can't tick by quick enough until Aunt Bertha leaves.
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Her visits are always memorable.
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Even after Aunt Bertha leaves, her name is still spoken in whispers. Until her next visit.......

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Because sometimes it needs to be said (2.00 / 19)
In fact, Aunt Bertha has her very own theme song.



"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind


Har!! (2.00 / 18)
Back after supper to laugh more ...

Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


I am on the other end... (2.00 / 19)
No Bertha here, but I find myself in the role of the embarrassing relative nowadays...

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Enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war.

Barack Obama 1/21/2013


Oh, yes. Been there and done that! (2.00 / 18)


[ Parent ]
Yep! The joys of parenthood (2.00 / 14)
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Enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war.

Barack Obama 1/21/2013


[ Parent ]
Gotta love the teen years. (2.00 / 15)
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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
Pssst....over here (2.00 / 8)
She'll never find us!

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Enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war.

Barack Obama 1/21/2013


[ Parent ]
Purple Pooties! My day is ending on an up note. :) (2.00 / 15)
The only Aunt Bertha LOL I've seen before is the one with Sparky's last sight. What a treat to discover it's an entire genre!


"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

Aunt Bertha gets around (2.00 / 15)
Great to see you this evening. Still snowing?

"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
Nope. All done until tomorrow. (2.00 / 15)
Four inches seems to be our "new normal". Today we had deep blue skies and hot sun. You?

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
Tomorrow's storm got downgraded a bit (2.00 / 15)
It's shifted to the east. Now only expecting 6 inches. We can manage that easily.

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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind


[ Parent ]
Oh sweet Jesus! Tears running down my face! Paddy is doing lap duty, (2.00 / 15)
I wish you could have seen his sweet cat face.  Like he was saying, "who Bertha?"  So I told him, "she's one of the Butt sisters".  Like he understood that!  Thanks Khloe, you never disappoint.  Oh, and just say "no" to spandex!

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

G'Evening ((NB)) (2.00 / 15)
Does your crew take lap shifts?

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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind


[ Parent ]
LOLLOL! (2.00 / 14)
'Scuse me for a while - I need to go eat where I can't see your comments. I might choke.

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." ~ Desmond Tutu

[ Parent ]
I hope you aren't having burritos ... (2.00 / 14)


Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
! (2.00 / 13)
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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
Seems like they do. I never know who is on until they're "on". Poor Paddy (2.00 / 13)
got teh Bertha shift.  LOL!

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
! (2.00 / 14)


Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


what a beautiful face!! (2.00 / 14)
Aunt Bertha means well. It's just doesn't always work out. It doesn't seem to matter where she goes......

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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind


[ Parent ]
Need some protection ... (2.00 / 14)


Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
Never again (2.00 / 14)
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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
Uh oh (2.00 / 14)
I think Aunt Bertha may have stumbled across this diary!

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Enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war.

Barack Obama 1/21/2013


Sometimes the grounding was worth it (2.00 / 12)
That is the opinion of my troubled half.

Pink and green size small polka dot........
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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind


[ Parent ]
I love the looks on the face of the kittehs hearing the story of Aunt Bertha's last visit. (2.00 / 14)
No one is ever completely prepared ...


Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


Aw gah!! What color is it?? Not purple, right? Not going there, (2.00 / 11)
no I am not!

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
So funny, thanks! (2.00 / 12)
You all are going to make a pootie person out of me yet....I needed to laugh and I am!

Love is the lasting legacy of our lives

Atticus just did a Monty Python re-enactment. He was yelling (2.00 / 12)
"run away, run away!"

"Pin your money to your girdle and don't talk to strangers."  My Grandmom's advice when I went away to school.  I don't wear a girdle and have never met a stranger.  Sorry Grandmom!

[ Parent ]
I'm happy the pooties brightened your day. (2.00 / 12)


"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
Most of the woozles don't mind Aunt Bertha ... (2.00 / 12)


Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
! (2.00 / 13)
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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
I understand how that can help. ;) (2.00 / 12)


Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.


[ Parent ]
Manners maketh the man (2.00 / 11)
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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

"Calm down? Aunt Bertha's coming and you tell me to CALM DOWN?" (2.00 / 11)
Not Okay

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.


-- Oscar Wilde


! (2.00 / 11)
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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
Oh Snookums.... (2.00 / 8)
Come out, come out wherever you are!

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Enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war.

Barack Obama 1/21/2013


[ Parent ]
Can't resist that face. (2.00 / 8)


"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
Advil PM kicking in (2.00 / 8)
G'night K

Enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war.

Barack Obama 1/21/2013


[ Parent ]
Sweet dreams (2.00 / 8)


"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
Kallie has been known to give me that look (2.00 / 8)
especially when she's being jealous of Gaffer.

No matter where you go, there you are...

Buckaroo Banzai


[ Parent ]
'snort' (2.00 / 9)
now my stomach hurts.

Aunt Bertha has that effect. (2.00 / 8)
Hai (Miss Molly))

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"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind


[ Parent ]
I never had an Aunt Bertha... (2.00 / 8)
but some of my nieces and nephews have been known to call me Crazy Uncle t. I think it might have to do with the way I act when I'm working on something - at least that's what one of my nieces said when I was patching drywall for her.

No matter where you go, there you are...

Buckaroo Banzai


You aren't crazy (2.00 / 7)
Unless you count your crazy good taste in music.


"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
Speaking of such things - (2.00 / 7)
I noticed in the F Bomb this morning that it is the anniversary of the birth of my favorite Beatle, George Harrison. I wonder if he wrote about Aunt Bertha. Sounds like a song he could have written with Eric Idle...

No matter where you go, there you are...

Buckaroo Banzai


[ Parent ]
Khloe, you just cracked me up with this diary! (2.00 / 6)
i read it hours ago and went to sleep,
i woke up and my jaw muscles are still hurting.
an instant pootie CLASSIC.

carry on!(please)

time...it seems to move so slowly until that day, when it doesn't.


Always happy to bring smiles. (2.00 / 5)


"Hair on fire complicates the decision of how to deal with the knot in your knickers while clutching your pearls with both hands." ~ wordsinthewind

[ Parent ]
I read once (2.00 / 3)
that everything in life is relative except your relatives, they're constant. Enjoyed your diary a lot, thanks.

There's nothing like eavesdropping to show you that the world outside your head is different from the world inside your head.--Thornton Wilder

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